You Don't Have to Masturbate Alone

It’s Masturbation May and though masturbation is generally considered a solo activity, there are a few ways to make it something you and your partner(s) can engage in together. There are a few different ways ranging from vanilla to kinky so there is something for everyone.

Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation is when partners masturbate while in the same space together. You aren’t physically touching each other but rather enjoying watching each other self-stimulate. Mutual masturbation is a great option for newer couples engaging in sexual activity with each other because it gives you a chance to see how your partner likes to be stimulated. You can do mutual masturbation in bed lying next to each other or take it to other rooms of your home. The living room is a great option because you can both be on opposite ends of the couch to have a better view of each other. 

Turn it into a teacher-student/virgin-experienced person roleplay.

Adding some roleplay to mutual masturbation is a way to add some kinkiness without getting too far out of one’s comfort zone. The student-teacher or virgin-experienced person roles are a great place to start if roleplaying is not something you regularly do. For the student-teacher roleplay whoever is in the teacher role can “demonstrate” how to touch the body and then the student role can try what they said. Leaning into the virgin-experienced person roleplay allows there to be more coyness and space for discovering what you and your partner like together. For either roleplaying scenario ask questions like “am I doing this right?”, “is it supposed to feel this good?”, and things of that nature are just some dialogue options to stay in character while communicating with your partner, so you don’t have to sit in awkward silence. Using the roles, you can also develop into a more elaborate roleplay scenario that moves from mutual masturbation to actual partnered play. 

Sprinkle Some Power Dynamics

If you and your partner want to go deeper into the kinky side of mutual masturbation leaning into power dynamics and edging is a great option. You can try out power dynamics by having one partner direct the other’s masturbation. The partner with the power will tell the other person how to touch themselves, what toys to use, and what positions to get into. You could have them use a wand on their clitoris, use a stroker, or maybe put on some nipple clamps while they stimulate themselves digitally or manually. This is also a great time to give edging a go. If you’re new to edging or power dynamics, you can adapt the game Simon Says to make it easier. Use Simon Says to get them to do different things and if they mess up you can punish them with some orgasm denial. 

No matter your or your partner(s)’ experience with mutual masturbation it is a fun and exciting way to shake things up in the bedroom, build intimacy, and explore pleasure more intentionally together. With a whole month of Masturbation May, you can try all three different ways of engaging in mutual masturbation.