Why do I like BDSM?

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Why do I like BDSM?
December 28, 2020
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One night, your friend tells you a story about getting adventurous in the bedroom, or you might have read about someone else’s experience getting spanked and liking it. It awakened something in you, but you’re not sure what is going through your head? Why do you like the idea of BDSM? We’re going to explore this question to give you a thorough understanding of why you enjoy this type of activity!

Psychology of sexy corporal punishment

As most BDSM sites shared - the truth is that a lot of people around the world absolutely love BDSM; we want to talk a little more about the psychology of sexy corporal punishment. The psychology behind sexy corporal punishment can be very difficult to understand. In fact, it’s still being studied by certified psychologists!

However, the studies have found that people who enjoy BDSM typically embody some specific traits. For example, people that enjoy these practices are usually open to experimentation. That should be rather obvious, but there is also a love of discipline and order present in people. A high level of the conscientiousness trait can be found in both doms and subs, but not in switches. That means these people are more likely to have a willingness to keep things in place where they belong. 

Research also shows that doms are more likely to rank lower in agreeableness than subs and switches, which means they want to be in control of a situation. On the other hand, subs have a level of agreeableness similar to that of a control group member. 

The psychology of BDSM is deeper than we can get into here. Just know that many of the traits that make people interested in BDSM are rooted in their psychology, and that can explain vanillas!

Preparing for a punishment session 

How do you get ready for a good punishment session? There are several things that you have to do, including listed below.

  • Establish a safe word:
    • every BDSM practitioner should always have a safe word that stops the action.
  • Communicate with your partner:
    • what do you each want to get out of the experience?
  • Dressing the part:
    • does part of the role play involve costumes?
  • Clean and prepare all the toys and objects;
  • Set the mood before you start:
    • light some candles or do whatever you have discussed before to make the room look great. 

These are some of the basic things you can do to get ready for a hot punishment session. Always make sure you consider your partners’ needs before you begin!

The types we love 

BDSM comes in many different forms, so it’s important to know about the activities available to you as a dom or sub. Here are some of the best types of BDSM play that you can take part in!

Dom and Sub

  • Law Enforcement and prisoner;
  • Teacher and student;
  • Royalty and peasant:
    • these include domination and whatever acts the two have in mind. 
  • Bondage:
    • when your partner ties you up for a set amount of time.
  • Impacts:
    • when your partner is slapping, hitting, or otherwise flogging you.
  • Sensory torture:
    • you are tickled, paddled, or submitted to other sensations.
  • Removal of senses:
    • you can be blindfolded, nose plugged, ear plugged, and more.

These are just some of the different kinds of BDSM play that you can get involved with as someone starting. 

What we get out of it 

We have to ask ourselves, what do we get out of BDSM. Different people get different things. Some people get into it so they can exert control over others. Other people want to be a sub because they like it when their control over events is taken. Some people enjoy the sensations of pain or the pleasure they derive from being treated to tickling or spanking. Most importantly, it’s a journey of self-discovery. You get to discover how you feel after being put in scenarios that would never play out in your daily life. 

The importance of aftercare

Aftercare is one of the most important things you can do for your partner. If you’re punishing them for the sake of punishing them and don’t offer them aftercare, that’s not fun, and the results can be bad. 

You need aftercare to differentiate the “scene,” or the act, from real life. Rubbing lotion on a place that got slapped or being friendly with your partner can prevent a “drop,” a time when a person comes down from the pleasant feelings of BDSM and deals with the aftermath. A drop can get ugly for the sub, so you need to take care of them after a scene. 

Spend time together, have food, take a shower, and give them painkillers. These are all forms of aftercare that they will need!

BDSM practices are very fun and highly common in the world today. If you’re trying to get started, you need to understand why you find these practices interesting. Based on this information, you should have a better grip on what you get from it, why you like it, and how to behave after it’s all over!

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