Swinging 101: An Intro to the Lifestyle

Swinging 101: An Intro to the Lifestyle

Posted By Javay- The Millennial Sexpert
Swinging 101: An Intro to the Lifestyle

There are a lot of different sexual lifestyles and a lot of them get discussed, being kinky, going to sex clubs, full-time power dynamics, but swinging doesn’t get talked about as much. There are a lot of reasons why, we live in a compulsory monogamous society, people can experience negative repercussions, and people pass judgment on what others choose to do consensually. None of that is okay, but it is a reality, but if we talk about swinging more publicly maybe we can work to change the narrative and perceptions about swinging. So here is a little introduction to the swinging lifestyle if you’ve ever been curious, if you know nothing, or if your interest is piqued and you want to participate.

What is swinging?

Swinging is also known as partner-swapping and it is the activity of switching sexual partners. There are a few different configurations for swinging. Some people only swing within a small, select community of people, others only swing when they go to play parties and dungeons, and others are open to swinging in any way shape, or form. Swinging to some is their relationship dynamic and for others, it can be a kink. 

Where to find other swingers?

If you are new to swinging and looking for people to swing with there are a few different places you can start. The first is FetLife, which is a website like Facebook, but for kink & BDSM. There are groups that you can join to meet people, you can add friends, and there are events that you can attend to meet people IRL. Dating apps are another option. Using apps more geared to non-traditional relationships and sexual interests, like Feeld is a great place to meet people that are also interested in swinging. Another option, depending on where you live, is going to your local sex club. It may take some work, but there are people interested in swinging, you just have to find them.

Important things to consider.

If you start swinging, there are a few things you are going to want to remember and do in preparation. The first thing is having a conversation with your partner. If you are in a relationship discussing swinging with your partner is extremely important. If you were to just drops swinging on your partner things might not go well and if you don’t have a conversation beforehand, but then go out at “swing” you would be breaking trust with your partner and the person you “swing” with (quotes because without all parties being informed it is not swinging). You are also going to need to discuss boundaries. Are there things that you and your partner aren’t okay with happening during swinging? You are also going to want to consider safer sex practices. Depending on the type of swinging you are engaging in this can look differently. If you swing with the same people only there may be less safer sex practices y’all engage in based on the conversations, you all have together. If you go out to play parties and sex clubs, you may want to be as prepared as possible with barrier methods and recent STI testing. The choice is for you and your partner and who y’all engage with to make, you just want to make sure everyone is comfortable and okay with all safer sex decisions. Another thing to consider is checking in with everyone involved, especially as you are just getting started.  

Safety precautions for swinging.

Safety is always important as you are meeting new people. You are going to want to ask some questions before you swing with people. If you are traveling to swing, you're always going to want to share information with someone trusted: where you are going, where you met the person/people, and where y’all are supposed to be playing. It’s better to be safe than sorry. You are also going to want to consider privacy. As I mentioned earlier, people can face negative repercussions for engaging in swinging. People have lost jobs, had their kids taken away, and so much more because people hold negative ideas about swinging. If you want to minimize the chance of swinging impacting you negatively, consider privacy. Are you using a pseudonym? Are you making sure people know not to take pictures of you at events and post them online? It sucks, but it is a reality of our world currently, so give it some thought.

That is just a little intro to swinging. If you want to learn more do your research, meet people in the community (in non-play settings), and ask questions. Also, if you are looking for people keep an eye out for pineapples. Upside down pineapples are the symbol of swingers, but pineapples are also the symbol of hospitality, so be cautious. 

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