Sex Tips for Disabled People

March is National Disability Awareness Month!

People with disabilities account for roughly 25 percent of the population in the United States, and March is the month we take extra steps to raise awareness by providing information, support, and opportunities that help them lead productive and fulfilling lives—including sex lives. Many people assume that disabled people are asexual and have no desire for sex. That is entirely false.  Disabled persons still have the ability to become aroused and enjoy sex with the proper modifications. Sex should be fun, inclusive, and for everybody. 

Whether attempting quadriplegic sex or having sex amidst chronic pain, there are ways to make sex good and more accessible for everyone involved. If you or your partner is disabled, here are some ways to get creative in the bedroom.

Use Positioning Aids

Positioning aids are a specialized type of support that acts as an aid in sexual activity. Positioning aids are designed to support one or more bodies in motion by lifting hips and necks or making certain positions easier on folks of different sizes or abilities.  Pieces come in various shapes and sizes, often with forms that can change quickly based on the user’s demands and machine washable coverings for convenience. 

Pillows

These specialty items take the place of standard bedding while protecting your assets and providing you and/or your partner with a quick hip or back lift without requiring either of you to use your own strength. Sex pillows come in many forms, with most of them stuffed using a high-density foam that supports most body weight. Liberator, a top-class brand, is highly recommended for its versatile wedge and ramp.

Wedges

These positioning products are designed to provide a more significant angular differential during sex, resulting in deeper penetration, lessened pain, and more intense orgasms. Wedges can usually be flipped, turned, or folded to create numerous shapes and angles. Some even feature sex toy mounts for hands-free stimulation with or without a partner. Almost all of them are weighted and balanced to stay put during rough thrusts.

Swings

Sex swings are great for people dealing with significant mobility limitations. Sex Swings can be hung from a doorway, suspended from a hook in the middle of the room, taken along for trips, and used for some pretty serious fetish play, including bondage and dominance games.

Slings

A sex sling is a harness designed to allow sexual intercourse by using your own body to keep your legs high and in place. Although there are variations in the design, the most common sex slings have a harness placed around the neck to lift gently and stirrups for the legs. A sling is often easier and more accessible for people to try and does not require installation like a swing.

Alternative Straps

In addition to the above, brands like Sportsheets have incredible alternatives to partner play that can stabilize the position and make it easier to orgasm. One example is the I Like It Doggy Style Strap. This strap helps one partner pull the other partner towards them rather than thrusting from behind. While this product is often designed for BDSM or kink play, it is an excellent solution for anyone with a bad back, hips, or knees.  Another option is a thigh strap, utilizing a dildo and belt for the thigh, arm, or other areas. The Ultra Thigh Strap On from Sportsheets is soft, comfortable, and works with a number of different abilities. 

Modify Position

Partner on Top

In a ‘partner on top’ position, one person sits or lies on their back, and the other either lies between their spread legs or straddles their lap. Lying down can be great if you get fatigued easily or have limited mobility. However, lying flat is not always the most accessible way to do things, particularly if you have back or hip pain. 

Using pillows to support, lift or stabilize your body is a great way to stay in a comfortable position for you. For example, a pillow beneath your knees can help relieve your back strain and give your partner a deeper angle to grind against. Likewise, if the partner lying down is a vulva-owner, placing pillows beneath their hips can create a better angle to access their genitals. It can also boost g-spot stimulation during penetration – more comfortable and more pleasurable all in one!

Rear entry

Sex from behind or ‘doggie style’ is great fun. However, it can feel a bit naughtier than ‘missionary’-style sex, and penetration can feel deeper. This position can also allow the partner being penetrated easy access to their genitals for additional stimulation. 

There are all sorts of combinations of positions that can make rear-entry sex work for you. For example, you can use furniture, such as leaning against the edge of a bed or using a wedge under your belly to support your body. In addition, the rear partner can stand, kneel or even sit behind – particularly if they are planning to use their hands, toys, or tongue. Sex from behind also doesn’t require the partner being penetrated to open their legs as much as with the ‘partner on top’ position, so it can be a great choice if you have limited mobility or pain in your lower body.

Side by side

Side-by-side positions can offer a fabulous, low-impact, and highly intimate experience. Try positioning either face-to-face or lying perpendicular (think doggie style, but lying on your side). 

Side-by-side positions tend not to involve lots of wild thrusting, so they can be particularly suitable if you have restricted mobility or fatigue. Grinding or rocking can, instead, deliver delicious sensations and often lead to a slower building, longer-lasting session. Plus, they can give you close contact and easy access to your partner’s genitals and other erogenous zones, such as the nipples, neck, and face.

Alternative Positions

Our friends at Kinkly offer a delicious dictionary of sex positions. You can filter by mobility, positioning, erogenous zone, and more. While we laid out some basics to try, consider branching out and getting creative. Find what works best for you and your partner(s). Sometimes with a modification or two, you can take the ordinary to extraordinary. 

Even though all of these tips focus on penetrative sex,  there are other ways to have sex that don’t involve intercourse. After all, sex is more than just the act of penetration. If you have trouble with some of the physical aspects of sex, remember that you can try non-penetrative sex or outercourse, including mutual masturbation, kissing, or cuddling.