More to Love: Exploring Polyamory

More to Love: Exploring Polyamory

Posted By Javay- The Millennial Sexpert
More to Love: Exploring Polyamory

November 23rd is National Polyamory Day, a day to celebrate non-monogamous relationships. You may be wondering if polyamory or non-monogamous relationships are even prevalent enough to warrant a holiday and they are! According to a study done in 2021 at the Kinsey Institute, one in six people are polyamorous, and with that number, you probably know some polyamorous people. 

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory is when individuals engage in multiple romantic, sexual, or emotional relationships. It can be used as an umbrella term for many different types of non-monogamous relationship dynamics. Some people think of polyamory in terms of long-term relationships and marriages, whereas some people consider swinging to be a type of polyamory. Polyamory still has a lot of shame and stigma because we live in a compulsive monogamous society. This means that there are still some negatively held assumptions about polyamory and with these assumptions negative perceptions are held and believed by people. 

History of National Polyamory Day

National Polyamory Day stems from Canada because in 2011 the anti-polygamy laws in Canada were not applicable to informal polyamorous relationships, meaning as long as multiple people weren’t legally married, it is a valid relationship and acceptable within the parameters of the law. Though the day originated in Canada, it is celebrated in multiple countries including the US and Mexico. Within the United States, polyamory is allowed in the sense that it isn’t against the law like polygamy, but it does still have shame and stigma within our society. The shame and stigma are rooted in the compulsive monogamy which is deeply ingrained in our society.

Getting Into Polyamory

If you are curious about polyamory and want to learn more or begin your journey of polyamory the first recommendation is reading and taking some time to reflect. A good starting point for books is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. There are of course other books, but that one is a staple and highly recommended by many people who engage in polyamory and non-monogamous relationships. You will want to reflect personally, and if you are currently in a relationship, with your partner. You are going to want to reflect on what it is you are looking for in terms of polyamorous relationships, your boundaries in terms of relationships, how you recognize and manage feelings of jealousy, and your communication skills. Reflecting on these different things will help you in learning what areas you might need to grow in to have healthy and successful polyamorous relationships.

Ways to Celebrate

If you are looking to celebrate this day and are polyamorous, you can spoil your partners with new sex toys or plan a dinner with all your partners and paramours to spend some quality time together and bask in all the different relationships and the community of love you all have built. If you want to celebrate by giving gifts, think about getting your lovers a polyamory heart enamel pin so they can subtly let the world know they have a lot of love to give.

Even if you aren’t polyamorous or non-monogamous you can take some time to celebrate all the different relationships that exist and the fact that love looks different for everyone! As long as everyone consents, is being respected, and is in relationships that make them happy we should be celebrating and respecting those relationships as they are!

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