Dating App Tips: Opening Lines

You swiped right, now keep the conversation flowing!

Nowadays, dating apps are the way of the world. They’re nice for convenience’s sake. Not having to meet new people face to face might alleviate some dating pressure, but comes with new issues. The pressure is on to stand out to users and to come across as exciting and interesting. 

If you’re really interested in starting a conversation with someone, a simple “hey,” “hi,” or “what’s up?” is not going to cut it. Getting the conversation started is definitely the hardest part. You want to come across as serious but not boring, flirtatious but not creepy, sincere but not desperate. It’s hard to find a balance, and there is no secret formula to guaranteed success, but there are some things you can do to make things easier and start things off on the right foot. 

But Who Should Message First?

Anyone. 

The dating app Bumble requires women to make the first move, but it doesn’t have to be the only app where ladies initiate things. If you’re interested in them, let them know. It’s tempting to wait and see if your SuperLike messages you first, but they might be waiting and hoping you’ll kick things off. Life is short. If you’re interested in them, go for it! 

Here are our top tips on how to make the most out of your first interaction.

1. Take Advantage of the App’s Features

More and more apps are including conversation prompts as part of individual profiles. If you get nervous, this feature is nice because it takes the guesswork out of figuring out the perfect opener. It can be difficult figuring out what to say about yourself or how to put yourself out there, but prompts provide a framework to present yourself and preselect some conversation topics. 

2. Ask or Comment About Something in Their Profile

That lets them know that you didn’t swipe right just to swipe right. In the digital world, attention to detail goes a long way. Talking about something in their profile says you have paid attention to their details and there’s a reason you swiped right (aside from their pictures). This leaves room for a conversation where you can get to know each other a little better. 

3. Try a Compliment

Flattery will get you everywhere, as long as it's genuine. Ideally, the person you’ve swiped right on has some special quality that caught your eye. Letting them know what it is that called your attention can make the person you’re talking to feel good, which might give them the confidence boost they need to open up. 

4. “What Is Your Most Controversial Opinion?”

You might’ve seen this viral trend on TikTok, with some interesting results. People do their best to come across as charming and interesting in their dating profiles, so this approach allows you to expedite the process of learning their values. Some people’s hot takes might match your vibe, or be the opposite of what you’re interested in. 

5. “Describe Yourself With Three Characters”

This is a fun question. It gives you an idea of what kind of media they consume and what kinds of characters they relate to. This question can take the conversation in all sorts of directions: movies, books, or television shows you enjoy or otherwise relatable content. It’s fun to get to know someone through other people. 

6. Try a Classic Corny Pickup Line

“How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the nice!”

“Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!”

These are admittedly lame, but they're good fun. You can go for a classic, but coming up with something really silly and out there will be memorable, and likely to at least get an answer. Don’t be afraid to be a little silly. Showing a willingness to have fun and that you don’t take yourself too seriously is often seen as a green flag. 

7. When In Doubt, Ask.

Some people just have bare profiles that don’t have a lot of information to go off of. In these cases, you can always ask them something like “What was the last movie you watched?” or “Where is your favorite travel destination?” These are questions that help you get to know people: what they do and what they like. 

No matter how you start things off, make sure you leave room to grow. You want questions to have an open end so the conversation has room to breathe and expand organically. You can have an idea of how you’d like to steer the conversation but allow for some flexibility. Conversations on dating apps should be about seeing if you’re interested in meeting, not as a substitute for meeting and interacting. Not every match is going to lead to anything serious, and that’s ok. The goal isn’t to have a bunch of options: it’s to have the right options.