3 Major Take-Always To Keep in Mind When Arguing With Your Partner
While some like to refer to arguments as “Creative Discussions”, many couples may find it difficult to have a productive conversation when engaging in an argument when emotions are at its highest. This can lead to hurt feelings, where you or your partner says something with wrong intentions and create an even wider gap between the two of you than the one that may already exist. So when having a creative discussion with your partner, how do you get the most out of it without doing the most? Here are some tips that may help you and partner have more productive conversations that won’t leave you angry and frustrated.
Stop: When it comes to arguments, there isn’t always a clear cut way to solve a problem. When we think about the steps needed in basic problem solving, an overarching theme we can take from it is organization. We all know that arguments are not organized and when arguing with your partner, you may find it difficult to organize your thoughts when you both may already be annoyed or angry with one another. The best tip I can give for that is to either take a deep breathe, lower your tone, and change your affect. Or agree to resume to the conversation at another time. Choosing to resume the conversation at another time can help you both re-group and put your thoughts together so you can talk them through more effectively.
Listen: It can be difficult to keep your ears wide open and your mouth shut when your partner is talking for a plethora reasons. It’s very important however, because not allowing your partner to voice their opinions can cost you the opportunity to solve your problem and could potentially extend it. Try your best not to cut off your partner and allow them to speak freely and openly as possible. Another tip you can try is to summarize what your partner is saying. This is a therapeutic process used to help others feel like they are being heard and understood. This can also help the person who is listening understand and internalize what their partner is saying in the right context because context is important.
Learn: This one is more so about coming out of disagreement on an agreeable terms, whatever those terms might be, as well as getting some type of closure. Usually when I argue with someone, I like to make sure that whatever I argue about with them, that I am not constantly re-visiting it in future discussions unless it’s to joke about it. If you find that you or your partner is bringing up something from the past quite often after an argument, it probably means that it was not properly resolved. Listen to your partner and what they are saying but also make your voice heard as well. The line of communication goes both ways and the responsibility of keeping the line open belongs to you both.