The term "dilator" doesn't exactly sound exciting, but these handy devices are used to restore width, length, and elasticity to your lady bits. Let's talk about what they are and how to use them so you can get a little pep back in your step!
Q: What are dilators?
A: Dilators are silicone, glass, or plastic cylinder shaped tools of varying width that are designed to be inserted into the vagina to slowly restore the vaginal canal. They will often come as a set and are designed to be used incrementally.
Q: Why would I need one?
A: Women need dilators for a variety of reasons which include, but are not limited to; menopause, effects of cancer treatments, gender affirming surgery, and anxiety about penetration. After menopause or cancer treatments, the vagina can lose some of its elasticity and ability to naturally lubricate itself. When this happens, the vaginal canal can shrink to the point where it becomes temporarily fused together. Dilators work to make penetration more comfortable as well as work to restore the vaginal canal.
Women who have anxiety about penetration due to fear or sexual assault can also find dilators helpful in assuaging these fears if penetration is the desired goal.
Q: How do they work?
A: Dilators work by slowly opening the vaginal canal and getting it used to items of varying length and widths. Dilators often come as a kit to allow you a gradual increase through stretching. The use of water based or a hybrid lubricant will promote the ease in which the dilator slides inside.
Q: Which dilator is right for me?
A: Generally speaking, silicone or glass are the best options as they are able to be fully sanitized. Both glass and silicone can be placed in warm water to be closer to body temperature and also to increase blood flow to the vaginal tissue. While silicone does tend to allow for more flexibility, both materials are the best choice when considering a dilator.
Q: How should do I use it?
- 1.) Once you’ve chosen your dilator, start with the smallest in the kit. It should be one that will be able to be inserted with ease. (Optional) Get a bowl of warm (but not scalding) water and place the dilator inside for a few minutes.
- 2.) Use a quality water based lubricant to coat the toy and the opening of the vagina.
- 3.) Next, arrange yourself in a position that will allow you to insert the toy, but that is also comfortable for you. You may find that placing a pillow under your knees or butt allows you get an angle that works for you.
- 4.) Take a deep breath and relax your pelvic muscles so you don’t encounter resistance.
- 5.) Slowly slide the dilator inside at a flat or slightly downward angle, making sure it slides in smoothly and does not cause pain.
- 6.) Gently push the dilator back and forth to stretch the length of the vagina. Move it in circles to stretch the width of the vagina. Do this at the opening, middle, and end to ensure even opening. Leave/hold the dilator in place for about 5-15 minutes.
- 7.) Once finished, wash your dilator with warm water using a toy cleaner. Let it air dry and store it in a toy bag, pillow case, or anti-microbial container.
Repeat these steps 3-4 times a week. Once you’re comfortable with the smallest size, gradually work your way up to the next size. It can take several months before you an insert the largest dilator without discomfort.
Tips:
- You may find that you can help increase your own natural lubrication and bring blood flow to the vagina through the use of clitoral stimulation. A small clit vibrator, a finger, or a partner can help with this.
- Performing kegel exercises while the dilator is inside will help strengthen your PC muscles which can make intercourse more enjoyable. Additionally, strong PC muscles can help with incontinence during and post pregnancy.
**One last thing; make sure you consult your doctor if you continue to experience pain or anxiety as you use the dilators.
Hope you get to feeling better soon!
-Eden
Photos: CalExotics Inspire Dilator Kit and Getty Images