Exploring Solo Sex
No one knows what you like better than you do.
Whether or not you have a partner, it’s still nice to reconnect with yourself. Masturbation is one of the most fun and most satisfying ways to wind down and relax. Planned Parenthood explains the benefits of masturbation as improving your relationship with your body, improving your mental health through bringing yourself pleasure and a rush of endorphins, and that regular masturbation can reduce anxiety and stress.
Solo sex is a healthy and valid expression of sexuality.
The Importance of You Time
The best way to make time is to be direct. Let your family and friends, or anyone else in your life, know that you are busy between the times of X and Y. You do not have to specify what you need that time for—it’s your time. Then, you’re free to do whatever you want.
Having boundaries is good, not just for you but for the other people in your life. It’s essential that you are able to have time to just be and not have to worry about others. When your schedule includes times to relax and refresh, you’ll be much better equipped emotionally for when you do have to be present with others.
Spontaneity is great, but it’s not always accessible for everyone. If you live alone or with a roommate(s), it’s easier to be spontaneous. But if you live with your family, it might be easier to put some “me time” on your schedule.
But if you have to be a little more sneaky, adding on time that’s already reserved for you might be a good time to get some self-love in. Times like your morning or evening routines are great for this type of thing. You’re already alone in the bathroom or bedroom. What’re a few more minutes?
Positions for Solo Pleasure
The art of self-pleasure can be enhanced with a number of techniques. You’re not stuck with a single option when you’re with a partner, or riding solo, so feel free to get creative with positioning to find what feels best for you.
On your back is a classic for a reason. You can modify it by propping yourself up or by propping up your legs or hips. In this position, it’s easy to reach anything you might want access to.
For some extra spice, you could try straddling your bed or another piece of furniture (think cowboy/girl style). This position engages your pelvic floor muscles and other groups, leading to a different but memorable experience.
And of course, you can always take it a little further and get down on your hands/elbows into a sort of doggy-style position.
Techniques to Try
Now that you’ve figured out some positions you’d like to try, it’s time to explore some techniques. Depending on the position you’re in, you should be able to easily caress yourself. Play with sensations. Try something simple like lightly trailing your fingers across your skin or pause to give yourself a squeeze.
You’ve activated your tactile senses and imagination, but why not incorporate visual stimulation. Including a mirror of any size allows you to enjoy not only the physical pleasure of what you’re doing but also visual pleasure. Utilize the mirror with intention. Instead of just focusing on stimulation, allow yourself to indulge in the visuals. Entertain yourself.
If you want to try a potent way to prolong and intensify your pleasure, try edging. It’s exactly what it sounds like: you bring yourself to the edge of orgasm, slow down, then do it again. It allows you to prolong your pleasure and build to a more intense orgasm. We’ve got a post here breaking down more tips, tricks, and tools if you'd like to learn more.
Tools to Try
If you use nothing else, use lube. Lube is the easiest way to guarantee to increase your pleasure and your chance of orgasm. It is the unsung hero of pleasure. And although lube has the (very unfair) reputation of being boring, it’s an easy way to spice things up. Some lube comes with unique features, like providing warming or cooling or tingling sensations. For example, the K-Y Warming Liquid and the Skins Excite Tingling Lube can easily spice things up.
The tools you were born with (your hands) are great for some self-exploration, but sometimes you want something with a little more oomph. For example, incorporating a sex toy can enhance the fun you’re already having.
The Satisfyer Dual Pleasure Vibrator directly stimulates the clit while indirectly stimulating the g-spot. It’s ergonomic, making it easy to use for solo players, and comes with customizable vibration options so you can have exactly what you want.
A vibrating c-ring can also add a whole host of new and exciting sensations to your session. We recommend something like the Renegade Explorer Ring that can be used by yourself or with a partner at another time.
Take some “me time” this holiday season and start 2022 with a new habit of investing in you and your sexual health.