17 May

Being apart from your partner(s) can be difficult. Apart from missing out on dates, late night cuddles, and every other moment you cherish, that desire for sexual stimulation doesn’t go away. Mutual masturbation is a powerful tool for stimulation within a relationship, not only in person, but also with long distance! But how can mutual masturbation be sexy and just as stimulating without being right there with your partner? 

Voice or Video Calls!

Sometimes all you need to feel that intimacy you crave with a partner is their soothing voice on the other end of the line. Utilizing mutual masturbation while talking on the phone can bring you to notice even the slightest reactions you may not pick up before. Hearing their breathing change as they stimulate themselves or maybe the little moans you don’t think about in the moment can be heightened by the inability to see them, similarly to a blindfold. When in a video call, you may gain sight, but muting yourself or your partner and forcing them to strictly view or be silenced can also be a powerful tool to utilize. And that leads to...

Power Exchange Play!

Power exchange is a common practice within the kink and BDSM community where one person has a more authoritative role over their partner. This doesn’t need to be done in a way that is extreme or demeaning of your partner, but can be simple and sexy. In fact, it doesn’t need to include masturbation or direct genital stimulation at all! Requesting your partner to wear a specific outfit that day or suggesting that they treat themselves for all the hard work they’ve done when you know they deserve a break. In more direct cases, consensually instructing your partner to touch themselves in a specific way while in a private and more intimate setting can add an additional layer to phone sex while making it more personal as well. Especially while hearing it in their voice, with your eyes closed, it could even trick your mind into thinking they are actually the ones doing it themselves!

Remote Couple’s Toys!

Toy companies keep pushing for new innovative ways to impress their customers, and one of the latest trends with wireless toys is the inclusion of apps that can be used in place of a remote. These apps often utilize bluetooth to directly connect to the device, then use wifi or LTE to connect to your partner’s phone, even from around the world! This means that no matter the time of day or distance, you can directly control the stimulation your partner feels when using these products. With brands like Svakom, WeVibe, and many others leading the charge to make pleasure more accessible and discreet, trying this type of play with a partner is becoming easier and easier. You can use it to tease over a long period of time or to help achieve a quick orgasm with a wide variety of styles like prostate massagers, internal vibrators, cock rings and more. Many of these apps also allow for direct message capabilities as well as video calling through the app itself, making it easy to utilize those methods at the same time. This is one of the best ways to directly stimulate your partner over long distances!

As hard as distance can be with a partner, there are plenty of ways to still interact with them in an intimate setting. With toys, other means of contact, and consensually playing with each other's thoughts, you won’t have to be truly alone when exploring your sexual needs. Mutual masturbation might be the method for you, but remember, you don’t need to have a partner to enjoy all of the pleasures that masturbation can help you discover!

13 May

It’s National Masturbation Month and there’s no better way to celebrate than to turn on your favorite mood music, dim the lights, and give yourself a hand. But what if you’re tired of the same old stimulation you get from just using your hand? There are plenty of products made specifically for pleasure that can help you achieve extraordinary orgasms you otherwise may have never experienced. But while you might be excited to buy your first toy, it’s understandable to be a little intimidated by the wide variety of products available to you. Before you take a step into a store or browse online it’s important to know a few things before you get there!

There’s no one size fits all toy!

It’s important to know when picking out a toy what your limits are and what kind of stimulation you like most. The highest end toy on the market might be amazing to many people, but that doesn’t mean it will stimulate you the way you enjoy it most. Pay attention to the little sensations you like when pleasuring yourself and look for things that match that sensation. Maybe you like girth over length in your search for a penetrable toy or a looser grip when looking for a stroker. There are products out there that can match nearly any niche sensation you may be looking for, so take your time to explore the options rather than buy the first thing you see in your price range!

Pay attention to the material!

Not every toy is built the same. Whether it’s glass, metal, silicone, or various plastics, the material a toy is made of can greatly impact your experience with it even if it is the exact same shape or has the same features of another. A glass or metal toy will be the easiest to clean and provide the sturdiest and hardest material for stimulation. They are perfect for someone who wants the best in cleanliness or lack of flexibility in their toy. They are also, in most cases, waterproof! Silicone can offer more flexibility and can be relatively easy to clean, but are not always waterproof and cannot be used with silicone lubricants. So if that is your preferred type of lubricant, you might want to stay away! Then there are various plastics such as ABS, PVC, and more that work with all lubricants, can sometimes be waterproof and can often feel extremely close to real skin. The downside, however, is that these can often be difficult to clean. So make sure you’re getting proper toy cleaner and cleaning every inch before and after use!

Pay attention to features!

Recognize the things you know you can’t live without. Whether it be the best vibration intensity or variations, a specific texture in your stroker, or a rechargeable battery, there are so many different options to make sure all of your needs are met. Some don’t come with any specific features, while others might have suction cup bases for stationary use, harness compatibility, app compatibility for long distance use and so much more! Companies are even making an effort to be more environmentally friendly by making toys that are partially biodegradable. Things like vegan leather for kink toys, quick release handcuffs and other toys with safety features built into it can also help provide that sense of comfort in knowing it is easy to remove if it becomes necessary. In many cases, you won’t need to compromise to find the perfect toy for you!

These are just a few things to keep in mind before you make your first purchases. But most importantly, don’t hesitate to ask a store associate or utilize our LiveChat service on our store website for expert advice and recommendations to help you find the toy for you. With industry wide knowledge and training, store associates are more than capable to help you learn about new products or provide the information you need in your search. And, of course, don’t hesitate to look up reviews on our website as well from everyday customers! Everyone’s experience is different, and our goal is to help you discover the best in what pleasure products can offer you!

10 May

So you and your partner are celebrating masturbation month? Congratulations! Give each other a hand! Well actually...keep your hands to yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be together! Let’s talk all about mutual masturbation and the amazing benefits it can provide both you and a partner when exploring your sexuality. 

What is Mutual Masturbation?

Mutual masturbation is the act that can be looked at in various different ways and is subjective based on the people within the act. In most cases, both partners are stimulating their own genitals individually while, in less common definitions, partners are able to stimulate one another through the use of their hands rather than their genitals, mouth or anus. Rather than relying on intercourse, mutual masturbation is a phenomenal tool that can be used to satisfy needs while in unique circumstances such as a long distance relationship, awaiting STI test results, discovering how your partner likes to be pleasured and more. While these uses can be subjective based on various individualized needs, mutual masturbation can be just as beneficial for anyone. Stimulating oneself in the presence of a partner is fulfilling in a way that still gives you the ability to recognize their presence while you both pleasure yourselves. Matching your technique to each other’s stroke and locking eyes or hearing their moans while in the moment can give the illusion of the same intimacy that you would get while having typical intercourse. 

Long-Distance Relationships:

Imagine you and a long term partner are separated by a long distance. As much as you hold back, you can’t help but find yourself with the same sexual urges that you have when they are standing in front of you. Regular masturbation is always an option, but you miss that personal touch that came from having your partner with you. Phone sex might just be the answer you’re looking for, and it’s a form of mutual masturbation! Even while distanced, whether by a mile or across the world, masturbating (consensually of course) with your partner together over the phone can be just as rewarding as in person. It can add that intimate feel just by hearing your partner moan on the line or the heavy breathing as they stroke or rub their genitals as you talk them through it or do the same yourself!

Medical Reasons:

Whether it be after a surgery, an STI test, or even individual limitations such as vaginismus or erectile dysfunction, sometimes you are simply unable to have intercourse. But just like long distance, this doesn’t take away sexual desire. Physical limitations like this may be an obstacle, but that doesn’t mean it cannot be overcome. While genital to genital stimulation may not be the case, as long as you both are physically capable of stimulating oneself, then it can be just as rewarding.

Learning Preferences:

Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to stimulation and, for some people, communicating this can be difficult. Mutual masturbation with good communication can be extremely rewarding in the long term within a relationship. If someone tells their partner how they like to be rubbed or stroked, something might get lost in translation. Showing their partner while masturbating can be a learning tool for partners to see exactly how each other's bodies react at a certain touch or stimulation while knowing that’s exactly how they want to be touched. This can even be utilized with the growing popularity that is “Jerk Off Instruction” style pornography where there is an authoritative party that instructs their partner on how to masturbate in a way that teases them for long periods of time until orgasm or ejaculation. 

While these are just a few rewarding ways to look at mutual masturbation techniques, there are plenty of other reasons to look into this type of stimulation with a partner. Mutual masturbation is also one of the few 100% effective ways of preventing both STIs and unwanted pregnancies, so it is one of the safest ways to experience sexual activity with someone! You also don’t need to worry about any sorts of lube, toys or other intimacy products unless you need them for self stimulation. There are many reasons why mutual masturbation might be worth looking into, and while it might be awkward at first, in the long run it may just help in a way you never expected!

06 May

Don’t masturbate or you’ll go blind! How many times have you heard this, even if it was a joke with some friends? Most sex ed courses refuse to acknowledge masturbation as a whole, let alone talk about how it can be a powerful tool in reclaiming you sexuality, personal pleasure, or even just enhance your sexual experience as a whole. Masturbation is one of the most common forms of sexual stimulation, and no one talks about it. But let’s not focus on the negative connotations you may have heard, but focus on the positive!

True or False: Masturbation is the only way to have genital stimulation with 0% risk at an STI or pregnancy.

TRUE! They say that abstinence is the only safe way to 100% prevent STI’s and unwanted pregnancy, but this doesn’t mean they cannot have any pleasure at all. If you abstain from intercourse for any reason, masturbation may be the perfect option to still receive sexual pleasure!

True or False: Masturbation hurts your chances at finding a long term romantic or sexual partner.

FALSE! Masturbation has no effect on you finding a long term partner in any capacity unless you let it. In fact, in many cases it can help your experiences with partners in the future because it allows you to learn what you like and dislike prior to interacting with someone new. Then, after communicating what you like, it can make the entire experience much more fulfilling!

True or False: Masturbating will make you no longer desire your partner and want sex less.

BOTH! Well, kinda. While masturbation can be psychologically addictive, it isn’t the end all be all for a relationship. Masturbation can bring partners even closer just as quickly as push them away. It all comes down to understanding one another. Mutual masturbation or just watching as your partner does it can be just as stimulating and are both very common!

True or False: Masturbation should only happen for a quick orgasm and has no additional benefits.

FALSE! If your goal while masturbating is an orgasm, you may be rewarded with a few other bonuses. Orgasms release endorphins in the brain, a natural painkiller. This could help ease pain throughout the body very minimally but could make things more bearable like migraines, cramps, or other bodily aches. Not to mention, masturbation can even help strengthen your pelvic muscles and anal area.

True or False: Masturbation will make you go blind.

FALSE! I mean, this one is just silly. Genital stimulation does not connect to your eyesight. If that were the case, any sort of intercourse would have the same effect!

Now, masturbation can be great and will likely never affect your performance within a sexual encounter with a partner(s). However, it is important to remember that communication is key when discussing your likes and dislikes. If you’re a vulva owner and you know you cannot handle direct stimulation to your clitoris because you tried it once in the bathtub and it didn’t feel right, TELL THEM. If you’re a penis owner and you need a super tight grip to feel anything remotely close to pleasure, TELL THEM. Masturbation is amazing and rewarding, but it’s also the best way to learn your own desires and how you like to properly be stimulated, so utilize it as much as you’d like! 

Happy Masturbation Month Everyone!

04 May

What is it that makes you feel sexy? For many people, it can be as simple as the clothes on their back that empowers them in their sexuality. Lingerie is a form of underwear, brassiere, or other intimate clothing that is made specifically to exude a more sexualized image. But against popular belief, lingerie isn’t limited to only women and other feminine presenting people. On its own, lingerie can be your favorite pair of cotton briefs you’ve worn for years or the silkiest lace trim babydoll or even your shiniest Magic Mike-esk jockstrap. Whatever it is that makes YOU feel sexy is the best lingerie on the market. But if you’re looking for something new or maybe something to tease your partner with for a special occasion, here are some types we offer that you should consider in your next shopping trip!

Babydoll and Chemise:

For those who are looking for something that doesn’t hug their body too tight, both the babydoll and chemise are amazing options to look into! While very similar, babydolls are looser and can often be very flowy. Chemise, on the other hand, loosely hold themselves closer to the skin showing a slightly more tailored fit, but aren’t restricting. They are also often longer and fall just between the lower buttocks and just above the knee while babydolls fall at or just under the lower buttocks. Oftentimes, because of their shorter nature, they can sometimes come with matching panties!


A style solely for the upper body and chest, corsets have a tighter fit that can even force the breasts up in order to make them look larger or fuller. While some are strapless, many are not and can be matched with a perfect garter belt and stockings for a cohesive, full body look. Sitting just above the hip, more extreme corsets can be purchased to practice waist training and other body modifications. CAUTION: Consult a doctor and do plenty of research prior to attempting any waist training or body modification.

Leather and Latex:

Often utilized by those in the kink community, leather and latex are a much stiffer material and can almost feel like a second skin due to the tightness. In fact, body lubricants are highly recommended when wearing any latex in order to put it on easier and make it more comfortable over long periods of time. Unlike other lingerie sets, leather pieces are often much more strappy and have more of a harness look and feel to them. 

Teddies and Bodysuits:

A more form fitting set without feeling too restricted, teddies are very similar to bodysuits but with an often more sheer look and more detail such as lace, mesh and other straps. Bodysuits, on the other hand, are typically used as a layer under other clothing to match an outfit. This can be utilized in a more professional look or even for a night on the town!


While it might not be as elegant as other options, costumes can play a big role in feeling empowered within a sexual interaction where power dynamics come into play. This can be like wearing a schoolgirl outfit, a fireman’s hat, or dressing like your favorite movie character. These can be used to fulfil any fantasy you desire in order to escape reality for a moment and create your own within the bedroom!

Jocks and Briefs:

While relatively basic compared to other pieces, these only cover the crotch area and can sometimes have closed backs that cover the entire butt. But where these shine are in its basic nature. Various materials can be utilized to give different impressions such as lace, mesh, shiny polyester or even a separate pouch for penis owners who want a sleeve for their penis to be free in. 

Remember, none of these things are necessary for you to feel sexy or desired. What is important is that YOU feel comfortable in what you wear and that will make all the difference. You can be in your favorite thong or briefs, the one with holes in the side but that compliments your curves in the perfect way, or you can be in the newest and frilliest babydoll or bodysuit on the market. You can be sexy in anything, and sexy is for everybody!

For more style options and to see our selection, check us out here!

29 Apr

Sexy is for everybody, no matter your sex, gender, body type or anything else. Expressing oneself through their body is viewed as an art form in many different contexts. Whether it be a regular nude photo in the mirror or in your favorite lingerie spread across the bed, this expression can be liberating and a vital tool in promoting self confidence and building love for your body. Boudoir shoots are a great start as you improve your nude taking skills. Let’s take a deeper look into the art of taking the perfect nude photos!

But first...what are boudoir photos?

Boudoir is a photography theme often utilized by feminine presenting people, but is not limited to just them! Normally taken within a bedroom, boudoir is made as a celebration of one’s body to build confidence and be loose and free within their own skin. The key is this looseness as it translates to a much more natural and elegant look to the images. These poses can be as specific and planned as a normal photo shoot or even candid to show the natural form of the body when it’s relaxed. Every body type can work within boudoir shoots, and here are some poses that work perfectly for anyone with the help of Modern Muse Boudoir!

The “Casual” Babe:

Described by Modern Muse Boudoir as a focus on “confidence and allure”, this one isn’t as easy as people think due to the heavy reliance on facial expressions. While curling up on a chair, bed, or even the floor, bring one knee up and use your natural curves to help frame your body to create a fierce and elegant look!

The “Silhouette”:

Utilizing light in a way to highlight and exaggerate the body rather than present one specific part. While often hiding much of the body’s details, the natural look mixed with the mysterious nature of being locked behind a shadow can give the impression of a private freedom. For an even better look to this method, try utilizing it with a thin silk sheet or window drapes wrapped around you to provide more detail without exposing too much!

The “Bather”:

One of the sexier images people often think of is the integration of the body being wet or maybe getting out of a bath or shower. Playing into this desire, taking the photo set to the bathroom and using a towel or sheet can imply nudity that isn’t truly there. This adds more to the mysterious aspect similar to the “Silhouette” but with more detail. This can work at every angle as well, and with subtle movements it can really enhance any photo set you create!

The “Hug”:

This pose is often utilized with others to show a form of self care and love to add to the image. This nurturing technique shows comfort and stability within oneself and offers the viewer a more intimate image. Close up, this can show a vulnerable facial expression, but far away it can include other props that can enhance the image such as various lingerie pieces or other adult toys. 

It’s important to let yourself feel free and easy when taking these photos as it allows for a much more personalized touch to your sets. Individuality is one of the key elements that can make a good picture great and allowing yourself the ability to feel loose and comfortable in your body can make any picture perfect. You don’t need the perfect pose or shot, all you need is the freedom to feel confident, and utilizing these various aspects can help you get there!

26 Apr

Masturbation sleeves/strokers are one of the most common adult toys on the market. While the majority of them can be relatively basic, either a closed or open back with some additional textures within it, there are many new and exciting variations that have been popping up on the market. One of the newest and most innovative masturbation sleeves on the market is the Arcwave Ion by WOW Tech, the same company behind popular products like WeVibe, pjur, Womanizer and more. Let’s take a deeper look into this experimental new design and sensation giving stroker!


Designed and advertised as a luxury stroker, the Arcwave Ion is changing the idea of what a sleeve is meant to be. Rather than just a soft, flexible cylinder, the Ion is crafted with CleanTech Silicone attached to a plastic body that houses the unique Pleasure Air technology that separates it from the competition. This pinpointed sensation goes right to the frenulum, one of the most sensitive areas of the body, to make it the world’s first Pleasure Air stroker. Using technology similar to that of a clitoral stimulator, this device uses air pulsing technology to target the penis glans and frenulum in order to achieve sensations that cannot be found with other strokers. In addition to the new air technology, it also features the new Smart Silence which will start and stop stimulation when it senses a penis in the sleeve. With an IPX7 rating, it is perfect to utilize in the shower and is incredibly easy to clean. In the box it comes with a sample of pjur water-based lubricant, the storage/charging base and a dry stick for storage along with the device itself. A quick wash and you’re in business once you get it!


After a bit of experience with the Ion, I can confidently say that this product delivers a new and exciting stimulation that goes above and beyond the competition. Mixing the tight and textured sensation of a standard stroker with the new Pleasure Air technology, the Ion gave me an immersive experience that was unique and pleasurable in ways that I have not experienced. The product itself feels premium and the included storage case/charger is incredibly discrete and simple. Various settings also made it easy to find where your “sweet spot” is. Cleaning itself is also a breeze, making the overall experience very pleasant. However, as great as my experiences were with it, there are a few downsides and aspects particular to the user. The solid base makes the toy very difficult to use if you have a larger curve to your penis. While the stroker aspect may still be pleasurable with the new silicone material, it may be difficult to have your frenulum hit the sensor and air technology. This essentially makes the toy’s biggest feature inaccessible to the user if their curve is too intense. Additionally, people with shorter penises may also find difficulty reaching the precise spot for this feature, but just so long as their penis is relatively straight and roughly average length, it has the potential to be the perfect toy for you! 

Ultimately, the Arcwave Ion is an amazing new product that can be revolutionary to how strokers and other masturbation sleeves are viewed by the public. Putting a focus on pleasurable sensations outside of the typical few strokes and a quick orgasm makes this product something that anyone with a penis should consider in their search for their next high end toy. While it currently is not available online, it will be widely available soon!

22 Apr

No one wants to be misunderstood in the bedroom or be made to do something that they do not want to do. Consent is not only mandatory, but it is the only way to make sure all parties involved are comfortable and willing to partake in the actions that are about to occur. There are even things that many people would think is consent, but actually could lead to a sexual assault. It’s important to know what these differences are to prevent harm to yourself or your partner(s).

There are multiple different ways to make sure you have consent, but our partners within Ohio University’s Health Promotion team, POWER/GAMMA, have an acronym to help make things easier to understand. Using their F.A.C.E. method, people can be sure to know when consent is being given as well as when it has been revoked. Let’s see what it stands for:

F - Full Conscious:

All parties need to be fully conscious to be able to give proper consent in any interaction. This means that they cannot be incapacitated in any shape or form, including any form of intoxication, whether this be alcohol or drug induced. Whenever someone is no longer coherent or loses consciousness, consent is immediately revoked and you should no longer continue for both of your safety.

A - Acting Freely:

All parties must be acting on their own accord and are not being influenced by the other to partake in any interaction. Sadly, within relationships it is relatively common for comments such as, “You’d do it if you loved me,” or “Don’t you want to take our relationship to the next level?” These comments are a form of coercion, and using coercive techniques like this to influence your partner(s) choice is a form of sexual assault and a breach of consent. All decisions should be made solely by the individual.

C - Clear Intent:

All parties must know and agree to the acts that will be performed. For example, if one day you and your partner(s) agree to do anal penetration, this does not mean that they agree to it every time. By having clear intentions between you and your partner(s), you won’t need to worry about anything being ambiguous or misinterpreted. You’ll be able to perform the acts that all parties agreed to and enjoy things even further knowing the expectations.

E - Enthusiasm:

When any party is giving consent, it must be a resounding “YES!” This means that anyone involved is not questioning their decision to partake in these sexual interactions. There is nothing that is holding them back or making them think it could be a poor decision. If anything is making you or anyone else hesitant to say yes, you shouldn’t do it.

If this leaves anything out that you think is important, you might find it in the FRIES model from Planned Parenthood!

Of course, always remember that consent is fluid and can be given or revoked at any point in time. Just because one moment you or any others agreed to something at first, this doesn’t mean you cannot change your mind down the line. If you do, and they do not listen, this then becomes a breach of consent and potentially a sexual assault or rape. 

If you are in need of any resources for yourself or anyone else, please explore those listed below! 

RAINN Homepage


24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline 

800-656-HOPE (4673)

Domestic Violence Resources Site


24/7 Domestic Violence Hotline

1(800) 799 - 7233

19 Apr

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault Reference

One of the more sensitive issues we face today is the presence of sexual assault and rape in society. Sexual Assault Awareness Month is dedicated to helping build awareness for survivors, provide resources and help put an end to this horrible reality.

What classifies as a Sexual Assault?

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), laws surrounding sexual assault represent everything from notifying universities and other colleges about sexual violence on campus, prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sex, helping survivors deal with the costs associated with post-crime services like medical, counseling and lost wages, as well as many others. Listed on their site for you to research are the Debbie Smith Act, Clery Act, Campus SaVE Act, SAFER Act, Title IX, and the Victims of Crime Act. While specific laws can vary between states, sexual assault is not limited to physical interactions. Sending unsolicited nude photos, saving and distributing nude photos of someone other than oneself, and coercion into explicit situations are common assaults that aren’t physical, but can still be considered sexual assault in many area. Other microaggressions that could lead to sexual assault or trigger memories of a past assault in a survivor are overly aggressive flirting, non-sexual and non non-consensual touching as well as making comments implicating the sexuality or a sexual interaction with someone.

Sexual assault is also not just limited to adults. In some cases, assaults can occur in someone’s adolescence and shape them for the rest of their lives. People of all genders, sex, age, and sexuality can fall victim to this assault, but this does not define them. The best way to support survivors is to listen and let them guide how you can support them. There is no one size fits all and everyone goes at their own pace, so it is important not to push them when they are still healing.

In support of survivors, below are a few resources that could help either yourself or a friend if they are needed. Remember, it is never your fault, and there are plenty of people willing to support in any way they can.

RAINN Homepage


24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline 

800-656-HOPE (4673)

Domestic Violence Resources Site


24/7 Domestic Violence Hotline

1(800) 799 - 7233

15 Apr

Consent is the most important aspect of any sexual interaction you have. But this isn’t limited to just in person interactions! With the growth of technology and social media came the growth of consent violations over these new mediums. So what exactly is digital consent and how do you know when you have it? Well let’s take a deeper look.

Digital Consent is the act of giving consent on any virtual medium. Just like normal consent, it’s fluid and changes often. This means that something you’re ok with in one moment, you may not be ok with another time and that’s absolutely fine! On these virtual platforms, consent still has the same premise, but can be viewed in different forms. It can be as simple as posting a picture of your newborn niece or nephew on social media without the permission of your sibling. This is a consent violation in a much simpler form, but can still have the same negative affect as other more aggressive violations. One of the most common is the sending and receiving of nude images without permission. Oftentimes, an individual might feel compelled to share these nude photos of themself, but without your permission, it becomes a consent violation and they have commited a form of sexual assault. It can come from anyone and isn’t limited to one sex or gender. In some cases, these forms of sexual assault that happen digitally can be punishable by law. 

So how do you ask for consent in this new virtual medium and how can you avoid mistakenly crossing that line? Just like giving permission to do anything, the best way is to simply ask. With simpler forms, such as posting pictures of someone else on your profile, asking is easy and isn’t awkward. But when sexuality comes into play, it’s understandable that it might be an awkward conversation at first, but that doesn’t mean you can't make it sexy! Of course, always start by making sure your partner is comfortable having these virtual sexual conversations and everything else they are comfortable sharing first. This opens things up a little more before risking breaching their consent. Then, after some time and sexier conversation, ask if it is ok to show them yourself or if they are willing to show themselves. Remember, NO MEANS NO and if they decline, then that’s it. Always stick with what your partner is comfortable with and never push or coerce them into more. In many cases, this coercion into any sexualized setting, either in person or virtually, can be considered a sexual assault as well. If you and your partner are ok with sending nude images or videos, it’s also important to wait for permission to save them. Saving these things is another breach of consent, and dispersing them in any way can go against copyright and even revenge porn laws.

Consent is mandatory and important in every sexual setting, but online and in life, it extends beyond just our typical understanding of how to give it or ask for it. Always remember, if someone says no, then that is the end of it. No matter if it is in an intimate setting with a long term partner, or if it is with someone you just met. Crossing that line is inexcusable. 

If you are a survivor of sexual assault or are looking for more information, https://www.rainn.org is an excellent and nationwide service to help you find the resources you need. Additionally, the 24/7 National Sexual Assault Hotline can be called at 800-656-4673 to speak to someone directly. Stay safe everyone!

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