5 Reasons Why Size Doesn't Matter

Just like age, size is just a number.

Does size matter? That’s a question as old as time, and the answer varies from person to person. Size has zero bearing on one’s ability to give and receive pleasure, but it can be a matter of perceived preference. 

Society paints penis size as a deal-breaker. But the truth is, for most individuals, penis size is not as big of an issue as you think it is. In reality, the penis comes in all shapes and sizes. According to BJU International, the average erect penis is 13.12 cm or 5.5 inches, with an average girth of 11.66 cm or 4.5 inches.

So to debunk the myth that bigger means better, here are some reasons why size shouldn’t really matter for sex.

Bigger Isn't Always Better

Contrary to popular belief, a bigger penis doesn’t mean better. Bigger-than-average penises can make sex painful in certain positions. Too much girth can cause tearing, especially during anal sex. Then there’s the whole choking and gag reflex to contend with during oral. On the flip side, smaller penises are easier to handle, which means all involved can focus on pleasure rather than pain. 

Ladies like the Girth

A 2001 BMC Women’s Health study found that a large majority of cis women surveyed — 45 out of the 50, or 90% — believed that width was more important than length. A potential reason for why may have something to do with clitoral stimulation. The external clitoris’ sole purpose is to produce orgasms. While it may appear to be a small part of the anatomy, the clitoris actually extends into the body surrounding the vaginal opening. When stimulated, the bulbs of the clitoris swell on either side of the opening of the vagina. Therefore, the cis women in the study prefer a penis with more girth than length because of the pressure it can place against the walls of the vagina.

Get with the Motion of the Ocean

It's not about the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. Size has nothing to do with skill when it comes to sex.  Anyone with a penis — real or of the store-bought variety — can stick it in and out of a hole. If you want to make the best of what you’ve got, use positions that allow for deeper penetration than others. The right position makes all the difference when it comes to sex. Our friends at Kinkly have an entire catalog of positions you can try.

Foreplay Makes for Good Sex

No matter the size, girth, or shape of a penis, a staggering 75% of women do not achieve orgasm from penetration alone. So regardless of the penis size, if you want to please your partner, you will need to add foreplay to the mix. Foreplay serves a physical and emotional purpose, helping prepare both mind and body for sex. Foreplay can be anything that helps build anticipation and sexual arousal. For vulva-owners, foreplay helps with lubrication inside the vaginal canal, necessary for comfortable intercourse. For penis-owners, achieving an erection and keeping an erection prove to be more difficult as we age. Foreplay, and continued play, can help keep things on the up and up. 

Make Friends with Sex Toys

Sex toys are not your competition, and there’s no reason to feel as if you are competing with them. Instead, using a sex toy is about pushing the intensity of the sensations already felt during sex to the limit by adding more excitement and pleasure into the bedroom fun. In addition to being pleasurable, sex toys are a great tool to use in the bedroom, especially if you’re on the smaller side of things.  A few favorites include:

Vibrators 

Using a vibrator on a partner is fun, no matter the size. A remote-controlled vibrator is also an excellent idea, giving you more control. Additionally, clitoral stimulation toys or dual stimulation toys, like the We-Vibe Chorus, add a different sexual experience that all parties can enjoy.

Hollow Dildos

If your size or ability to maintain an erection are concerns, a hollow dildo may be the solution for you. Hollow dildos are exactly how they sound. It is a dildo placed directly onto the penis shaft and attached to a strap-on. The hollow dildo is an excellent alternative to enjoy the penetration your partner desires while still being in control of the thrust.

BDSM Fun

And for those outside-of-the-box thinkers, playing around with the idea of more non-conventional sex acts can be deeply satisfying. Use psychological and physical tactics to get you and your partner off, such as experimenting with a dominant and submissive power play or utilizing feathers, handcuffs, ties, etc. There are so many ways to excite and please a partner through BDSM that don’t include penetration, just an open mind.

Remember that there is more to sex than penetration, no matter your size. Start experimenting with other ways to satisfy your partner outside of penetration. You will see a significant difference in your and your partner’s satisfaction in the bedroom and, hopefully, learn that size was only an issue that society gave you.

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