Sexuality for Any Size

The best part about sex is its infinite variety. We’ve said it before and we will say it again: there is no wrong way to have sex. Well, enthusiastic consent and lube are musts, but other than that, sex can be whatever you want it to be. It’s customizable and deeply personal. 

Coincidentally, that’s also the best thing about people. No two people are exactly alike. And while that’s an amazing thing that deserves to be celebrated, uniqueness can sometimes feel isolating. 

In a world where people are often inundated with photos of celebrities photo-shopped to perfection and normal features of the body are antagonized, it's easy to feel pressure to look a certain way or feel bad if you don’t fit into current beauty standards. 

Letting go of insecurities is incredibly hard, especially if you’ve struggled with poor body image for a long time. But you have the right to embrace and relish in your sexuality at any size. No one body type is more valid than others. 

Everyone’s body is built differently, is differently abled, has different needs. And this doesn’t make you less than, it just makes you different. And that’s not a bad thing.

Live in Your Own Skin

A little exposure therapy might be just the thing to lift your spirits and esteem. Allow yourself to sit in your skin, to really become familiar with all your curves and planes. A lot of people don’t spend much of their day naked beyond changing or bathing. Give yourself time to just be without feeling the need to cover yourself. 

Make it a point to familiarize yourself with your naked body. Luxuriate in your own skin. It’s yours to enjoy, too, so make a point to bask in it. Getting more comfortable with nudity will make you more comfortable with yourself and with being perceived while naked, which in turn will make intimacy easier. 

Also, make a point to not compare how you look to Instagram models or celebrities on TV, or even other people you know. Comparison is the thief of joy. This is easier said than done, but learn to accept that your own unique features are unique to you, and that is a special thing. 

Different kinds of beauty can exist in the same universe without conflict. 

But you don’t have to feel beautiful at all times. Accepting that you won’t always feel your most attractive is also a step in the right direction. Toxic positivity can be incredibly harmful to healing your body image. 

Something the body positivity movement gets wrong is trying to convince everyone to romanticize your perceived flaws. If this works for you, more power to you, but that isn’t accessible for everyone. You don’t have to feel that your insecurities are beautiful, but understand that they are normal. 

For many people, body neutrality is much more accessible and an easier (and sometimes more empowering) mentality to adopt. In essence, body neutrality is the idea that the human body simply exists and its beauty or flaws are just natural parts of the human body. It’s the idea that you can grant yourself permission to not look perfect, because no body actually is perfect. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t find beauty in the body, because you should, but not everything is perfect and it doesn't have to be. 

Odds are, your body is the least interesting thing about you and you’ve got so much to offer in addition to your outer beauty.

Enhance Your Sexual Energy

If you don’t conform to conventional beauty standards, especially if you’re someone who is fat, learning to feel pretty or beautiful can come easier than feeling sexy. It’s easy to get bogged down in other’s impressions of what sexiness is or should look like. 

While beauty can feel subjective, sexiness and sexuality can feel so complicated that it might feel easier to write yourself off rather than learn to embrace your own sexuality. 

But sexuality is like energy. It can’t ever be destroyed. It’s something that’s innate to each person, and you have to figure out what brings your inner sexuality out. 

Like we recommended earlier, connecting to your body is a fantastic starting place. Take it a step further by appreciating it, decorating it. Your body is beautiful and deserves to be adorned with things that make you feel your best. 

Lingerie is an excellent way to boost your confidence and bring sexiness into your everyday life. It’s great to have something that makes you feel confident in the bedroom, but feel free to bring it out of the bedroom—and out of the house. 

In and of itself, lingerie isn’t sexual. It’s sole function is to help you feel sexy and confident. And while you can dress for your partner, lingerie will make you feel even better if you choose pieces that make you feel your best. 

Wearing lingerie under your clothes is a great way to go on an adventure all by yourself. It’s a sexy secret you can take to work, the store, out running errands, or even just wear around the house. What makes it fun is that it’s something just for you. It can bring a whole new kind of energy to your body and how you feel about it. Don’t wait for a special occasion: every day is a great day to embrace your sexuality.

If you’d like to dip your toes into lingerie for the first time, or if you’re already a fan looking for a new set, all Curve lingerie is currently 20% during the month of September. Curve offers inclusive sizes that can accommodate a variety of body types. The brand offers many beautiful designs, so you’re certain to find something you’ll love that works for you. 

Leg Avenue, another classic lingerie brand offers a range of different sizes and designs. Whether you’re looking for a bodysuit, stockings and garters, or a corset, you’ve got a ton of options.

Practice Makes Perfect

If you find yourself really wanting to try something but you’re not quite at that level yet, there’s nothing saying you can’t practice. Sex can be a physcally exhausting practice that can stretch the limits of the body. 

If you want to work on your performance, building up your strength and flexibility as you are able will make achieving and enjoying certain positions easier. 

And for those seeking instant gratification, try mixing up your positions. Missionary and doggy-style are great but certainly not your only options. Experiment with your ability level to see what’s comfortable for you and your partner. Maybe try switching who’s on top, or get really wild and try a position where you and your partner are both on your sides.

(Pssst: For position suggestions - check out Kinkly where Lion's Den was featured in their 30-day Sex Position Challenge!)

Get Creative

As always, you are more than welcome to bring tools into the bedroom to make things easier. Not all toys and tools are created equal, so finding the perfect thing for you can involve a little trial and error. To cut down on that, here are some products that might take the guesswork out of your love life. 

Vibrators:

Finding the perfect vibrator can be a challenge. If you’re in the market for a little self-love, the Majesty II by Vush was definitely made with all body types in mind. It’s ergonomic design makes it compatible with most any curves. 

Another top pick is this oldie-but-goodie: the Hitachi Magic Wand. The handle is long enough to accommodate even the most hard to reach places. Hitachi also offers mounts for hands-free options, great for couples or solo action. 

Accessories: 

Sex is all about the angles, so a little help getting propped up and positioned a certain way can make all the difference. Try using something like the Liberator Wedge to help you achieve different positions. The Liberator Wedge is a wedge-shaped pillow with enough slope and firmness to accommodate any body. 

Another great product could be this doggy-style strap by Sportsheets is incredibly versatile. If you have any kind of back or knee pain, some positions might feel too challenging. This strap helps ease tension in the back and makes thrusting easier. This accessory can make a range of positions more accessible for differently abled people. It also helps compress the body for tighter, more intense stimulation and makes thrusting easier, so a win on all fronts. 

Experiment with any of these tips, tricks, and products and see what feels the best. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it can take some time to feel at home in your sexuality. But there’s no rush. Self-love is very much a journey, not a destination.