12 Aug

Fear of the unknown is often what stops exploration in its tracks. “Here be dragons” was a common phrase used on maps of yesteryear to indicate uncharted—and uncertain—waters. For many people, their uncharted territory is anal sex. 

However, more and more people are overcoming their hesitancy and are trying anal sex for themselves. If you’re interested in seeing what all the fuss is about for yourself, you could be about to enter a new gateway to pleasure. 

The big question on everyone’s mind is: What does anal sex feel like?

And like every other form of sex, it depends. There are a variety of factors at play, from your body, your experience level, and how recently you’ve last indulge in anal sex—or if you’ve ever done it at all. 

In some ways, it’s exactly like other forms of penetrative sex. It’s different in that the real estate in the anus is typically much smaller and much tighter. Likely, if you’re on the receiving end, things might feel a bit more crowded than usual. Unlike the vagina or mouth, the anus is a vacuum that wants to draw objects in. Anal sex is less about thrusting than it is about enjoying the sensation for the sensations sake. It’s not the place to be quick and rough. Anal sex is like a liquor meant to be sipped slowly and savored.

 

Images courtesy of Teen Vogue

But in terms of the overall anatomical structure, the entire anal area is full of nerves. For those who have one, the clitoris has deep roots that extend throughout the genitals and all the way to the anus. As the clitoris is key in achieving an orgasm for most women, the fact that it’s deep roots spread all the way to the anal ring should give you an idea that it’s got the potential to be a very pleasurable experience. 

Anal sex is also a great way to stimulate your a-spot. Healthline explains that the a-spot is short for the anterior fornix, a powerful erogenous organ located about five-to-six inches inside the vagina. The anterior fornix is the pleasure center responsible for causing the wet sensation during arousal, and can be stimulated from deep vaginal penetration or anal sex. 

Aside from indirect vaginal pleasure you might feel from anal sex, the anus itself is made up of specialized sensory nerve endings. Chief among these is the pudendal nerve, located in the perineum. This nerve also spreads to the labia and the clitoris. 

The anus can be “trained” to be accomodating to stretching and external stimulation, but it is not a malleable space the way a vagina is. If you’re looking to work your way up to anal play with a partner, we recommend trying out anal training kits like these ones from B-Vibe and They-ology from CalExotics.

   

It takes time to build up the muscle memory to accommodate anal sex. Anal training kits include wearable anal training probes meant to let you safely and comfortably increase pleasure with every use. PubMed reports that “Less than a third (27.7%) of participants who regularly engaged in anoreceptive intercourse in the past 12 months stated that they rarely or never experience pain/discomfort with the practice.”

If you’d like to get an idea what anal sex might feel like, we recommend trying out a butt plug. A butt plug is a toy of varying sizes meant to be inserted into the anus and then left for as long as you like. 

Women’s Health actually endorses personal prep work prior to anal sex as way to make the whole experience more pleasurable. Instead of starting your anal sex journey with penetration by your partner, begin by yourself with anal beads, fingers, or a butt plug. This will not only help to “train” the muscle to accept penetration, but it’s a great way to familiarize yourself with your body and your hard and soft limits. 

If you’re looking for a butt plug to try, the A-Play Rechargeable Silicone Anal Plug is a velvet-soft, flexibly vibrating butt plug. It comes with 10 different functions selected by a remote control. It’s a great toy for the uninitiated as well as the experienced. You can try out this easy to use butt plug and see how you’d feel about any kind of anal stimulation before getting a partner involved.

 

That is, if you want to get a partner involved. Anal pleasure can be achieved on your own with both the help of a butt plug as well as a dildo. 

Whatever you do, we recommend (read: insist on) lube. The stretching of the anal ring is something that should never be rushed. This small ring of muscle is one of the most delicate and important parts of the body so take care not to damage it. Also, the anus does not provide its own lubricant like the vagina or mouth, so it will need some help from you to be slick enough for comfortable and fun anal play. 

The Relax Desensitizing Anal Lubricant by Clean Stream is a great, condom-safe anal lubricant. In addition to providing much needed lubrication, it's also infused with lidocaine to gently numb the area it’s applied to. For people who are nervous or especially sensitive, this lube could cut down on uncomfortable sensations. 

However, you don’t want to be too numb during anal sex. Pain is an indicator that something's gone wrong and you don’t want to miss any warning signs that you might be damaging your body. Anal sex might be uncomfortable at first, but it should never been painful. If you feel like it’s hurting, feel free to stop at any time. You can always try again later if you’re feeling up to it. 

More so than vaginal or oral sex, anal sex is a learning curve. It can take some time and experimentation to find your GoldiLocks combination of factors that make anal an enjoyable experience. If you’re trying to engage in anal sex with a partner, always communicate to them what works and what doesn’t. Your partner can’t read your mind, so if something hurts or something feels great, let them know. It’s definitely a collaboration to find what feels just right

Anal sex is certainly not for everyone, but certainly anyone can try it. Who knows? It might just be your new favorite thing.


09 Aug

As we’ve discussed in previous blog posts, anal play can be a thrilling experience enjoyed by anyone. We’ve also discussed how intimidating it can be. It goes without saying that anything anal is considered a taboo by many, but that’s part of the fun. 

If you’re curious about anal play, but aren’t sure how to go about it or if its for you, keep reading to learn more about the world of anal. 

What is Anal Play?

Anal play spans from fingering to pegging. Smart Sex Resources defines anal play as both external stimulation of the anus and penetrative play. You can do this orally, digitally (with fingers), or with a penis or with a toy. It’s whatever kind of stimulation you or your partner likes. 

It can be the opening act or the main event depending on what you like and what you want. Anal play can be performed by yourself to amazing effect, or with a partner as a way to spice things up. 

Who Can Enjoy Anal Play?

Everyone!

If you have an anus, you have the tools to engage in anal play. It is enjoyed by people of all genders and sexualities. And while you personally may or may not enjoy anal play, it can be enjoyed by anyone. It all comes down to what you like. 

For those who have a vulva, anal sex not only activates the deeply-rooted nerves around the anus, but it can also indirectly stimulate the a-spot, g-spot, and clitoris. 

For penis owners of any sexuality, anal play can be especially pleasurable because of the prostate. This small, chestnut-sized rubbery organ is responsible for creating seminal fluid and maintaining healthy erections. The prostate is also a powerful erogenous zone that when stimulated can result in powerful orgasms. It can be accessed fairly easily via the anus, making it a great benefit of anal play if you’re someone who has a prostate. 

Image courtesy of the National Institutes of Health (NIH)

It also bears repeating that if you have a prostate and like being the receiver of anal play, that does not make you gay. You are entitled to enjoy any kind of sexual activity that appeals to you physically or emotionally. 

Smart Sex Resources reports that “people of all sexual orientations and gender identities can explore giving and receiving anal play. The anal region is rich with nerve endings, so stimulation in this area can feel good.” It’s as simple as a pleasure preference. Anal is a great way to directly stimulate the prostate as well as the nerve-rich anterior fornix and clitoris. It holds a huge potential for pleasure for everyone who wants to try it. 

Sexuality is deeply personal, and also customizable. All the different types of sex are meant to serve you, rather than just be a predetermined series of acts to perform. Do what feels good, feels right for you. It’s all about pleasure. 

Why Try Anal Play?

This is a case where “because” is a perfectly good reason to try something new. Variety is the spice of life, and anal play is almost garunteed to spice up your sex life. Try it to add a  Anal play is a little variety into your routine. It’s becoming more common, but it still has the air of being taboo, like forbidden fruit. The psychological appeal might add to the physical appeal for you or your partner. The brain is a key part of sexual arousal, so feelings you might have about anal play could potentially add to the appeal. 

It’s a great way to experiment with your body. If you’re a novice at anal play, you’re about to tap into a previously unexplored pleasure center. The entire anal area is chock-full of nerves that will give you plenty of satisfaction, and might even result in an orgasm. Experimenting with different kinds of stimulation and sources of pleasure will help build your sexual repertoire. 

Some reasons, among others, to try anal play are spicing things up as a way to build intimacy. As it involves one of the most delicate parts of the body, anal play requires an increased level of intimacy and trust in your partner if you are the receiver. If you are the performer, anal play requires more precision and self control than other forms of sexual play. If you’re playing with a partner, you must place a lot of trust in them, and in turn your partner must be careful. It can be very fun, but it can also be a uniquely personal experience. 

Anal play is also a great canvas for any dominant/submission play you might like to explore. In the same way it requires a lot of trust between partners, it also creates a distinctive power dynamic. If this is a fantasy of yours, the very nature of anal play might lend itself perfectly to any power play scenario between you and your partner. 

Where to Start?

Start out slow. It might take some time before the anal ring will stretch enough to accomodate any kind of activity. Also, bear in mind that the anus does not produce its own lubricant so you’ll need to provide that on your own. The System JO H2O Anal Lubricant is specially designed for anal play. Water based lubricants are the best option for anal play, and this option from System JO will ensure that any kind of anal play is silky smooth. 

Fingering or oral are great ways to start. This kind of play is minimally invasive for those who don’t want too much pressure on or in the anus. If this is something you’re interested in (or if you plan on doing any kind of anal play), use lots and lots of lube. The more the merrier!

Butt plugs can be a great starter for anal play, or great in general if that’s as far as you’d like to go. Butt plugs are perfect for penetration play as well as helping to stretch out the anus, either just for the sensation of having something inserted or as prep for later. 

We recommend the Backdoor Adventure 3 Piece Butt Plug Kit. This kit has butt plugs of three different sizes so it’s accommodating to beginners and veterans alike, as well as those who want to build their personal stamina. They also come with a remote controlled vibrating feature to intensify the pleasure factor. 

Depending on who wants to be penetrated by their partner, the use of a toy might be required. If you need some assistance pegging your partner, a strapon might be an ideal tool. We recommend something like the Happy Rabbit Strapless Strapon, which has an attachment to penetrate your partner as well as attachments to stimulate you and your clit. 

However you decide to play, remember that consent is key. Go over your partner’s and your own hard and soft limits before you try anything anal. Proceed with caution, and know that you can stop any time. Anal play might be uncomfortable at first, but it should never be painful. 

If you are experiencing any kind of acute pain or notice any signs of trauma such as bleeding, seek medical care immediately.

05 Aug

Anal sex can seem intimidating. It’s not only an incredibly delicate place, but also one of the most intimate parts of the body. Many fail to see the appeal of anal at all, fearing it might be uncomfortable or painful. However, for many people the anus is an untapped pleasure epicenter that can lead to just as much satisfaction—if not more—than more typical forms of sex. 

The elusive anal orgasm is something you might be unfamiliar with, but this post will give you all the information you need on how to familairze yourself with anal pleasure. 

What is an Anal Orgasm?

It’s fairly self-explanatory, but the mechanics of it might be a bit confusing at first. The anal area is the gateway to many erogenous zones—hypersensetive areas of the body that cause intense sexual arrousal when stimulated. 

What Does it Feel Like?

The first few attempts at anal sex might be awkward or even uncomfortable. Nerves might be the culprit, but your anatomy is also something to be aware of. The anus is not meant to be widely expanded and it doesn’t produce any natural lubrication. 

For vulva-owners, anal orgasm will feel very similar to a blended orgasm. This is because of the overall anatomy of the area making it impossible to isolate the anal sensation from other sensations. Also, you might need stimulation in another place to help bring you over the edge during anal play.

For penis-owners, an anal orgasm will feel equally intense but will likely be a more pin-pointed experience. Once you find the prostate, an orgasm isn’t too far behind. The prostate is one of the most essential parts of the body for penis owners’ orgasm. It’s incredibly receptive to stimulation and it won’t take much to take it from zero to one-hundred when this part of the body is utilized. 

But for everyone, the anal orgasm will be an intense, full body feeling because it spreads throughout your pelvic floor. Also, it’s something that can be experienced multiple times during sex. 

Something to keep in mind about the anus is that it’s a vacuum. It wants to pull things in, unlike the throat which wants to reject anything being inserted. If you’re not careful, a toy could get “lost” down there, so opt for something with a flange that will make sure everything stays put. 

Anatomy of Anus

 

Images courtesy of Teen Vogue

How do You Achieve Anal Orgasm?

For people with vulvas, the clitoris is typically the most key component of achieving orgasm. However, what many people don’t know is just how much real estate the clitoris occupies. It’s external bud is only one of its components. It has deep roots that extend throughout the genitals and all the way to the anus.

For cisgender women and those assigned female at birth, the a-spot is your best friend if you’re wanting to achieve anal orgasm. Explained by Healthline, the a-spot is short for the anterior fornix, which is located about five-to-six inches into the vagina. The area is a pleasure center responsible for causing the wet sensation during arousal. You can access this area via the vagina, or stimulate it from deep penetration within the anus. 

The anus itself is made up of many, many nerve endings which can provide plenty of exciting sensations. One of the most exciting nerves in the neighborhood is the pudendal nerve, which is embedded in the perineum. It’s the area between the vulva and anus. You might’ve heard it called the taint. This nerve also spreads to the labia and the clitoris. 

You can reach this exciting southern destination from plenty of positions, with anything from fingering to doggy-style. This nerve-rich area is something everyone is born with and everyone can enjoy. If you’re trying to access it from the anus, the perineum will be the forward wall that’s parallel to the stomach. 

This whole area of your body is made up of hyper-receptive nerves and sensitive skin. The backdoor, as it were, is very much connected to the rest of the house. Try viewing the entire downstairs area more holistically. Stimulation in one place could lead to more powerful feelings in others. 

The perineum is found in people of all genders and can help anyone enjoy an anal orgasm. We recommend starting out just with fingers. Rubbing circles the area or making a beckoning, come here motion will send waves of pleasure throughout your whole pelvic floor. When you’re ready to move onto penetration, focus on stimulating the front wall rather than the back wall of the anus. It’s where most of the fun parts are located, and what is more likely to help you get to orgasm. 

If you’re solo or don’t want to get a partner involved, there are plenty of products to help you stimulate your own perineum. 

Anal orgasms might be easier for people with penises. Like we break down in this post on all the different types of orgasms and how you can have one, anal play offers plenty of pleasure possibilities for penis-owners. In addition to all the nerves present in the area that everyone has, penis-owners also have a prostate, one of the body’s most powerful erogenous zones. 

The prostate can be stimulated manually by yourself or by someone else. Be sure to be gentle with the area. This should be pleasurable, not painful. If you need a little help reaching all the way back there, try the Anal Adventures Platinum - Silicone Vibrating Prostate Massager. It was designed with prostate-owners in mind, but the vibrating option and curved body can reach all the right places for anyone. 

If you’re the giver rather than the receiver, try stimulating your partner by massaging their prostate for them. Bonus points if you incorporate prostate massage during oral sex. 

Pegging your partner is another way to give your partner a thrilling anal orgasm. If you need one, choose a strapon that will pleasure you as well as your partner. The Estella Strapless Silicone Dildo by Temptasia is curved to rub your partner’s perineum and prostate, and features an attachment that will stimulate your g-spot and clitoris. 

If you incorporate only one product into your anal play, make sure it’s lube. The anus is not only a delicate part of the body, but incredibly important for your overall health. You don’t want to damage it in any way. Always exercise caution and try to be gentle, and use lots of lube. The slicker, the better. 

And remember, even if you can’t actually reach an orgasm, you can still experience loads of pleasure from anal play. A big part of the appeal of anal play is that hair-on-the-back-of-your-neck-stands-up, chills-down-your-spine kind of feeling. It might not give you an orgasm, but it can certainly give you goosebumps. Relax and enjoy the sensations. You never know what might become your next favorite feeling. 

02 Aug

So You Wanna Do Butt Stuff

If you’re open to the idea of anal play, but aren’t quite sure where to start, check out this article to help get you started:

Understanding the anus

Before you go shoving things up there, it’s best to understand your butthole and how it works. The anus is one of the most densely nerve packed areas of the body. Stimulating this area (regardless of your genitalia) will produce pretty intense sensations. These nerves are shared with the genitals called the pudendal nerve.

The inside of the anus has two sphincters. These are muscular rings that act as guards for bodily waste and intrusion. The first ring which is closest to the anus is malleable and generally very cooperative when it comes to insertion. The internal ring cannot be controlled by sheer will as it is part of your autonomic nervous system (like your breathing or heartbeat). It will, however, relax for a bowel movement.

Maintenance and cleaning

One of the best ways to care for your butthole is to eat well. A poor diet can result in unpleasant excrement which can in turn cause tearing or odors. Making sure you’re well hydrated in also an important part of taking care of your body (and your butthole).

Before play, feel free to give yourself a quick wash to make sure there is no remaining debris. If you don’t have time for a shower, biodegradable baby wipes are great in a pinch and they fit in a backpack, purse, or glovebox.

Now onto anal douching. Douching is the act of squirting water up the anus to push out any fecal matter. There are a variety of types of anal douches you can purchase so it’s kind of up to you what you’d prefer. When using a douche, keep in mind that your anus has both good and bad bacterial so if you opt to douche, you’re flushing out both.

All this might seem like a lot of work, and in some instances it is. All the prep work and cleaning can take away some of the fun spontaneity, but often times when first starting out can help both parties feel more comfortable. Ultimately, it’s up to you (and your partner) to decide with what you are and are not comfortable.   

If you have any butt/intestinal related medical concerns, don’t hesitate to contact your doctor to make sure anal is safe for you.

Getting started

Getting acquainted with your anus is best done in the shower. So hop in, lather up, and feel your butthole. Making sure to keep any soap out of it, move your finger around; get your body used to having your butthole touched. As you get used to this sensation, your body will relax which will make inserting a well-lubricated finger/object later much easier.

If you’re wanting to try anal sex with a partner, start with a small toy or finger. You’re not going to be able to properly accommodate most penis sizes if you’ve never inserted anything before. Anal kits with a graduated plug size can be a great way to slowly work your booty up to something more substantial.

Stretching/lubricant

The anus is not like the mouth or vagina meaning is does not have its own natural lubrication. Because it doesn’t get slick on its own, it’s up to the anus owner or partner to ensure it does. A thick, water based anal lubricant is a great place to start especially if you’re using it with toys. Keep in mind that a water based lubricant may require more than one application as it can get absorbed by the body.

If you’re wanting something that doesn’t require multiple applications, a silicone lubricant is the way to go. A word of warning; do not use silicone lubricant with non-glass/metal toys. The make-up of a silicone lubricant is often not compatible with toys and can ruin the material of your toy.

The best way to ensure the anus is fully lubricated is to purchase a lube shooter for the most seamless (and let’s face it, less messy) lubricant application.

*Penetration without proper lubrication can cause tearing which can lead to pain, bleeding, or a possible ER trip. Use lubrication.

Numbing creams

The use of numbing creams can help an anxious user be more relaxed when it comes to anal insertion, but use it sparingly. Pain is your body’s way of alerting you that something is wrong. As I mentioned above, penetration without proper lubricant can cause tearing so if you’re numb, you may not be able to feel it and can cause further damage.

As an alternative to numbing creams/gels, try freezing a small amount of water based lubricant and inserting it into the anus. The coldness will help numb the anal cavity slightly while the lubricant will help keep things slick. It also provides a fun sensation to the anus.

Types of toys

Anything that goes in your butt needs to have a taper or base. A taper is the widening of a toy so that the bottom is larger than the rest of it. This will prevent the toy from being completely inserted. The reason this is important is because the anus will contract which can result in a non-tapered toy getting sucked in with no way to retrieve it. Often times, this can result in a trip to the ER which is a major mood killer.

I generally recommend using only medical grade silicone toys when it comes to anal play. They’re less porous which makes clean up much easier. For more information on toy care and toy materials, see our other blog post: How To Clean Toys.

Wrap it up

Condoms, dental dams, and latex gloves are smart when it comes to anal play (whether with a partner or alone). They reduce the risk of STIs which is more likely to happen when engaging in anal intercourse. The reason for this increased risk is because the anus is more absorbent than the vagina and is also more susceptible to microscopic tearing. In order to guard against these infections, have your partner use a condom before play. Additionally, if you and your partner are switching from anal to vaginal sex, use a different condom.

Protective barriers also help keep your toys and hands tidy. When dealing with the anus, you may encounter fecal matter which can carry its own set of bacteria. Any preventative measures you can take to keep this bacteria from you partner or your toys should be taken.

Communication

One of the most important things about sex (not just butt stuff) is communication. If you’re experiencing pain or discomfort, speak up! Your partner is not a mind reader and can’t know if things don’t feel right for you. Remember, your partner wants you to enjoy this experience as much as they are, so if things aren’t going well, make sure to let them know.

If the penetration feels off, don’t hesitate to take a break and come back to it later. If, in the end, timing, positioning, or the general rhythm just isn’t working, don’t sweat it; you can try again another day.

 

Orignally posted April 2019.

29 Jul

Mark your calendars! July 31 is National Orgasm Day. In this post, we’re going to break down what an orgasm is, the different types, and how you can guarantee yourself or your partner will achieve a happy ending at the end of the night. 

What is an Orgasm?

Orgasms go by many names, but an orgasm by any other name would feel just as sweet. Also called cumming or climax among others, they all mean the same thing. Explained by Planned Parenthood, “an orgasm is what usually happens when you reach the height of sexual arousal ... sexual tension increases until it reaches a peak, and pressure in your body and genitals is released.”

The orgasm is the most intense feeling of sexual satisfaction when you’re experiencing any form of sexual stimulation. It’s like the 5-star dessert at the end of what was hopefully an equally enjoyable meal. 

Not all orgasms are created equal. Each orgasm you experience will be different, like a sexual snowflake. Also, there are different parts of the body that when stimulated will give you an orgasm, which in turn will have their own distinct sensation profile. But different parts of the body will also have some different requirements. 

Clitoral Orgasm:

The clitoris is the small bud seated at the top of the labia. With over 8,000 nerve endings, it’s only anatomical function is sexual pleasure. And for people with vulvas, the clitoris can be essential in having an orgasm. It’s the body’s most powerful erogenous zone, a part of the body vital in building orgasmic pleasure. 

Try stimulating your own or your partner’s clit with your fingers, tongue, or both. Oral sex can be a great technique for ensuring that your partner reaches their climax. A clitoral vibrator could also be a fantastic inclusion in your routine. The Satisfyer Pro 2 is a clitoral vibrator that uses airpulse technology to stimulate your clit. And this new model of the cult favorite Satisfyer brand features an exciting upgrade—it also vibrates. Enjoy it by yourself, or include it the next time you're playing with a partner for that extra sensation you might’ve been missing. 

G-Spot Orgasm: 

The g-spot is another erogenous zone, but more elusive than the clitoris. Planned Parenthood reports that the g-spot is located “a few inches within the vagina’s upper wall.” It can be hard to find, but once you do you’ll be amazed at what a game-changer it can be when it comes to achieving an orgasm through penetrative sex. 

If you’re looking for a little help finding the g-spot or giving it the attention it deserves, try the Myth by Vush. It’s ribbed head and curved body makes it the perfect toy for exploring down below.

Prostate Orgasm:

Think of the prostate as the g-spot for anyone who has a penis. The prostate is a small muscular gland that produces ejaculate. It’s located at the root of the penis and can only be accessed by the anus. The best way to access it is liberally lubed fingers or a prostate stimulator. We like these P-Swing Prostate Stimulator. It’s curves and grooves are perfect for stimulating the prostate and the anus, and it vibrates for an extra kick. 

Anal Orgasm:

Anal orgasms could come from both internal and external stimulation. For some, all they will need is a little attention applied to the external anus, like a rim job or teasing with fingers. Others will want something a bit more robust, which could be anything from digital stimulation to pegging. However you do it, don’t forget the lube. The anus is a strong muscle, but you also don’t want to risk damaging such an important part of the body. 

Penetrative anal play can lead to orgasm if either the prostate or anterior fornix is stimulated. It all depends on your body and what you like. The Strap-U Trivolver might be a fantastic addition to your collection, as it will provide clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, anal stimulation, and potentially prostate stimulation. 

If you want to find the right toy for you and your body, learn more here

Vaginal Orgams:

For vaginal sex (well, for any sex), lube will be your best friend. Women's Health reports that, “nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm.” Not only will lube make anything you’re doing easier, the different formulas can provide different sensations like cooling, warming, or tingling. We’ve been loving the Tango Couples Pleasure Set by System Jo, which comes with two different silky-smooth lubes, one warming and one cooling. 

Vaginal orgasms come from penetration of the vagina. You can achieve this with a partner, or at home with your fingers or by using something like a dildo. If you’re playing with a friend, make sure they’re lubed up beforehand. If you’re playing solo, you’ve got a myriad of options for choosing a toy for you. We suggest opting from something that will not only stimulate the vagina, but also the clitoris. Something like the Rabbit Lux will stimulate the clitoris, g-spot, and vagina at the same time for a powerful and exciting orgasm. 

Penile Orgasm:

Same rules apply: use lube! Lube will help your glide easier and will make everything more comfortable for you and any potential partners. The penis gains pleasure from pressure. Squeezing—not too hard—along the shaft is certain to elicit some pleasurable feelings. 

If you’re in the market for a new toy, the Main Squeeze line Doc Johnson offers plenty of different mastorbators made out of their patented lifelike material. With varying degrees of tightness, you’re sure to find the exact thing that will bring you to climax.

You can mix and match the types of orgasms and the sensations you chose to experience. Stimulating one area of the body can help to enhance the pleasure you’re experiencing from stimulating another area. 

How to Have an Orgasm:

Many view the Big O as the goal post, a finish line for their sexual encounter. But that’s a huge oversimplification that could lead to you actually enjoying your orgasm—and sex in general—less. Adding that extra layer of stress by making it something you have to work for could be what’s preventing you from getting to the top of your proverbial mountain. 

Instead of viewing the orgasm as the endgame, try thinking of it as the piece de resistance, the cherry on top of whatever you’re up to. 

Also, if you’re having sex with a partner, it’s important to keep their needs in mind. We’ve all heard the phrase “It’s about the journey, not the destination,” but we can all agree that it wouldn’t be fair if only one partner got to make it to the resort and the other had to stay in the car. Communicate with your partner. Sexual pleasure is very much a collaborative effort, so try working in tandem with your partner so you can both achieve your happy ending. 

Communicate with yourself as well. You can’t share your needs with your partner if you don’t know them yourself. Take some time to learn your own body, your own limits, what feels good, better, best—then share what you’ve learned with your partner. All knowledge is power, and this information could be the difference between something being meh and something being write-about-it-in-your-diary kind of great. 

Foreplay

Like we said earlier, sex is marathon and not a sprint. It’s hard to go from zero to sixty, and also less fun. When you build up to it over time, it gives you time to get into the right headspace and to prime your body for more intense stimulation down the road. 

Indulge in some fantasy roleplaying that gets you both in the mood—and this can be literally anything you want—or try getting physical. Kissing and caressing are all good ways to get warmed up. 

When you’re ready to move onto something more vigorous, try beginning with some digital stimulation like a handjob or fingering. 

Edging

In the same way foreplay builds the intensity of sex, edging will kick the intesnsity of your orgasm up several notches. By repeatedly bringing yourself or your partner to the cusp of orgasm several times before you cross the finish line, all of the sensation compounds into an intense, deeply satisfying orgasm. 

Check out our blog post dedicated to edging for more details on this technique. (We think you’ll love it!) 

Orgasm Denial

You’re probably thinking “why would I do this when I’m trying to have an orgasm,” but hear us out. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and taking a brief hiatus from orgasms might be just the thing that makes having your next one easier and more fulfilling. 

Also, if you’re thinking of your orgasm as the goal, you might be making it harder on yourself to enjoy sex or masturbating in general. By mentally taking an orgasm off the table, that might help you to relax and enjoy yourself more than you have been, which might be just the thing you needed to finally climax. 


However you decide to play, the most important thing is to make sure you’re having fun. Nothing about orgasms should be painful or make you feel anxiety, so if you’re not enjoying yourself you are free to stop at any time. It’s all about practice, and this might be some of the most fun trial and error you have.


26 Jul

The History of Orgasms

July 31st is National Orgasm Day. Finally, a holiday everyone can get behind! Or under, or on top of. . . it’s whatever you’re into. 

Whether you’ve got a partner or all about that single life, you’ve got endless resources to ensure that you can climax whenever you want (within reason). But what did people do before they had vibrators or Tinder?

Both a lot, and not that much. 

Human understanding of sex and sexuality is constantly changing and involving. Our current sexual climate is the culmination of years spent pioneering pleasure. Keep reading to learn a short history about orgasms through the ages. 

Medieval Times:

People of the Middle ages had some unique beliefs surrounding sex. During this era, sex was understood primarily to be a procreative act. As such, much importance was placed on the male orgasm in order to create a baby. The female orgasm was also a key piece of the sexual experience, but for all the wrong reasons.

At that time, it was believed that both partners must have an orgasm in order for a woman to become pregnant. Lelo’s blog on the topic writes that nudity, foreplay, and even kissing were nonstarters among pious couples. 

Virginity in the bride was a high priority among the aristocracy, but peasants enjoyed much more sexual freedom. Peasant men and women were free to discreetly get to know each other in a deeply intimate way. Aristocratic men, and likely at least some women, engaged in premarital sex but it was more taboo. This was one of the rare cases in which people of a lower class arguably had it better than the folks at the top of the social ladder. 

The Victorian Era

The Victorian era was full of contradictions: ornately carved furniture that had to be covered by a tablecloth to conceal the table’s salacious design, equal importance being placed on modest clothing and sumptuous fashion, and repressive sexual morals during a thriving pornography industry. 

Whores of Yore discusses the decadence of Victorian pronography and the importance it placed not just on pleasure, but on the female experience. In sharp contrast to the era’s overall attitudes, pornography often featured women in power positions taking charge in their own pleasure. LGBT+ experiences were also captured and circulated in the modern phenomenon of printed erotica. 

Science in the 1800s had a differing view on female sexuality. American physician Theophilus Parvin is quoted saying, "I do not believe one bride in a hundred, of delicate, educated, sensitive women, accepts matrimony from any desire for sexual gratification; when she thinks of this at all, it is with shrinking, or even with horror, rather than with desire."

Many aspects of the human body were still a mystery at this time, including mental illness. Hysteria became a catch-all diagnosis for anything perceived to be “wrong” with a woman (which could mean anything from chronic depression to being outspoken). It was believed that unresolved sexual tension was the cause of hysteria, which led to the invention of the vibator. 

Rachel P. Maines’ book The Technology of Orgasm discusses the development of the vibrator as a device used to treat hysteria. At the time, best medical practices included massaging female genitalia in order to treat mental and physical illness. The mechanical vibrator was developed by a British physician in the 1880s to treat female patients, and the invention would become both a medical and commercial success. 

In the years that followed, vibrators became available to the public for at-home treatments. 

Editor's Note: Was this the beginning of sexual wellness used for health care? We now know that regular attention to sexual wellness contributes to decreased blood pressure, pain symtoms and depression, while improving your immune system, sleep and mental stamina.

Sexual Liberation 

Along with the vibrator, a landmark invention in the history of orgasms was the advent of birth control. People had been relying on luck and the pull-out method for centuries, but the invention of the diaphragm in 1842 was the first real headway humanity had in reducing the risk of pregnancy. 

The Guttmacher Institute explains the vaginal diaphragm as “one of the oldest contraceptive methods. Despite several decades of legal restrictions in the United States that slowed the method's introduction into the market, the diaphragm had become the most frequently prescribed form of birth control in America by the 1930s.” 

The diaphragm would pave the way for the contraceptive pill, and The Pill paved the way for a movement. First approved by the FDA in 1960, oral contraceptives would go on to become a widely available and successful form of birth control. 

Premarital sex was frowned upon in large part because of the risk of pregnancy and the stigma around having a child outside of wedlock. With the pill, women could painlessly and easily avoid pregnancy and enjoy a fulfilling sex life before tying the knot—or not. The world became a world of possibilities. 

Where men for most of history have been encouraged to explore their sexuality, or at least were not socially penalized for any adult activity, these same freedoms being offered to women was a new concept. The feminist movement in the 1960’s interrogated many social conventions from the concept of breadwinner/homemaker relationships to traditional attitudes around sex. PBS reports that “societal emphasis on virginity and marriage were slowly replaced by a celebration of single life and sexual exploration.” 

At that time, more women than ever before were free to explore their sexuality unencumbered by the risk of pregnancy. Sex could simply be something fun, something to be celebrated between two people instead of a risky (but also still very fun) interaction. 

Today  

Nowadays, attitudes toward sex are much more evolved compared to even 50 years ago. (Psst: Lion's Den is celebrating 50 years!) Sexual wellness has now become an important component of overall health. Never before has it been easier to have an orgasm when a vibrator of your very own (and not one in a mental asylum) can be purchased online and shipped straight to your doorstep. The internet has given rise to a discourse about sexual pleasure and how to take charge of it. 

This National Orgasm Day, celebrate with yourself, a partner, a friend or with anyone you want. You’ve got more tools at your disposal to not just have a good time, but have a great time—more than one if you’re up to it— than most humans have had in the history of time. Enjoy it! It’s taken a while to get here.


23 Jul

Prolonged Pleasure

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

It’s about the journey, not the destination. 

Nowhere is that expression more applicable than in the bedroom. A quickie is fun here and there, but routinely sex should be a marathon rather than a sprint. We all want to cross the finish line, but we also want to have a good time along the way and make the good times last.

A survey conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that “ an “adequate” length for ejaculatory latency was from 3 to 7 minutes; “desirable” from 7 to 13 minutes; “too short” from 1 to 2 minutes; “too long” from 10 to 30 minutes.” Everyone’s preference is different, and it’s important to get your partner’s input on how long they would like your sexual encounter to last. But if you’re unsatisfied with your stamina, there are ways to help. 

Prolonging pleasure is an acquired skill, but it is a skill anyone can gain. It takes discipline and stamina to delay an orgasm. If you haven’t got either of those things, keep reading for recommendations on products and techniques for how to beat your personal time record and satisfy yourself and your partner for even longer. 

Live on the Edge:

We’ve all heard of delayed gratification. It makes the reward all the more sweeter to know it’s something you had to work for, to wait for, and how when you finally get what you’ve been building up to it becomes something to savor rather than devour whole. 

Edging takes delayed gratification to a whole new level. 

Like the name would imply, edging means bringing yourself or your partner right up to the proverbial edge and then slowing down. Kinkly explains edging as “bringing yourself (or a partner) close to orgasm, stopping just before climax, and then repeating the process over again.” 

Why do this, you might ask? With each time you tease yourself until you’re on the verge of having an orgasm, the intensity builds. Good things come to those who wait, and earth shatteringly great orgams are definitely worth that wait. You can edge yourself as many times as you want, or until you can’t stand it any longer, and enjoy your compounded climax. 

But you don’t have to wait around for your partner to try it out. Edging can be just as fun for people flying solo as it is with a partner. In fact, it’s best to test things out on yourself before getting a friend involved. All you need is yourself, your favorite toy, and some lube. While masturbating, bring yourself close to release then stop just short, and repeat as desired. 

Self-edging allows you to get really familiar with your body’s natural cues. Learning how you feel right before you orgasm, and how to hold off, will give you more power over all your climaxes.

Edging is also a great way to build intimacy between partners. Not only do you learn your personal cues, but edging a partner allows you to get more in touch with their personal cues. Edging can give you a better sense of how long and what it takes to get your partner there, which is all valuable information for when you move onto the next course of the evening. 

As if there weren’t enough reasons to try edging, Kinkly also reports that it can increase overall sexual stamina, especially in those who have a penis and might be prone to premature ejaculation. In order to successfully edge, you use all the same muscles engaged doing kegel exercises, so edging is also an easy and fun workout for your pelvic floor. The best part is that edging will pay off up front and will keep paying off later. 

If you decide to try edging (and even if you don’t), we recommend lube. According to Women's Health, “nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm.” Lube is fantastic at upping the wow factor to your overall experience, but if you’d like to try something that will not only smooth things out but will prolong your activities, try the Endless Love for Men Stay Hard and Prolong Water Based Lubricant. Endless Love’s lubricant includes a mild numbing agent making it easier to last longer and play harder. 

Sidebar: Numbing agents are fun because it turns the volume down on the sensation, making it easier to play longer. However, numbing agents can potentially desensitize sensations that might be a warning sign. As always, test your numbing agent beforehand to see just how numb you’ll be, and avoid potential injuries later. Use with caution and know your limitations. 

Combating Premature Ejaculation:

Some premature ejaculation is totally normal, especially for people who are still novices at sex. Nerves and confidence play a huge part in controlling your climax, and gaining more experience will help you acquire more skills and more faith in yourself. 

For those who are still dealing with premature ejaculation even with some experience, that is still common. Because it is normal, there are many resources available to you. First, start by practicing mindfulness and focusing on your breathing. Familiarize yourself with your own body and learn how to tune in on what you’re feeling. 

Products to Try:

There are a myriad of products that can help increase your stamina, such as desensitizing gels and creams. System JO Prolonger Gel uses natural numbing agents to help prolong your encounter. The brand recommends having fun with the gel’s application. It can be a great foreplay tool for slowing down time with your partner. 

Another great option is System JO for Him Prolonger Maximum Strength Desensitizing Spray. This desensitizing spray will help extend your intimacy by delaying orgasm and aiding in your “staying power.” 

Prolonging gel is best applied before you get started, or as the first step into foreplay. When you’re ready to move things along, a massage is always a good idea. Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is a perfect choice for those who are looking to get a little handsy, by yourself or with a friend. Bijoux’s gel can be used for masturbating as well as giving your partner a rub-down. 

Penis rings could also be a way to extend your session. They work by applying pressure to the penis and restricting blood flow which helps keep it engorged. The Rubber C-Ring Set by Spartacus is an easy-to-use penis ring set made of comfortable soft rubber with three different size options. 

Penis rings are a fairly straightforward product, but some come with a few extra bells and whistles. The Signet Ring not only comes with a vibrating attachment for the pleasure of you and your partner, but also comes with an app! You can control the Signet Ring from your phone, making it easy to take with you on an adventure, and you can create customizable vibrating patterns tailored to you and your partner’s preference. 


Safe sex should always be a priority, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it. Plenty of condoms come in different variations meant to prolong pleasure or increase different sensations for you and your partner. The Durex Performax Intense Condoms come “ribbed and dotted with delay lubricant.” One-stop-shop products like these are great for when you want to take your time with your partner and not take so much time getting warmed up. 

And remember that there is so much more to sex than just the male orgasm. Sex should be fun and pleasurable for both partners, and its important to bear your partner’s own satisfaction in mind. By gaining more power over your orgasm, you’ll be able to play longer and help ensure that both of you are satisfied.


19 Jul

Erectile Dysfunction

Arousal can be. . . complicated. Different factors like stress, genetics, and overall health can influence how your body responds to sexual stimulation. Sometimes, the underlying cause is as simple as not feeling it or having an off day. Other times, though, the underlying problem with maintaining arousal might be something more that requires a little more attention. 

Erectile dysfunction is very common, affecting roughly 30 million men in the United States. It’s more prevalent among older people or those with chronic health concerns, but younger people can also experience erectile dysfunction. It’s something that can—and does—affect anyone. 

It’s no new phenomenon plaguing only the modern man. Hundreds of people for hundreds of years have experienced erectile dysfunction. It was historically referred to as impotence, derived from the Latin word impotencia, meaning lack of power. And yet, some of the most powerful figures in history like Henry VIII and Tsar Peter II have experienced erectile dysfunction. It’s totally normal, and has nothing to do with your personal power or worthiness despite historical stigma. 

The Mayo Clinic defines erectile dysfunction as “the inability to get and keep an erection firm enough for sex.” The most common causes for erectile dysfunction are metabolic syndrome, diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease, or a number of other chronic health conditions. The Urology Care Foundation warns that erectile dysfunction might be an indicator of a serious cardiovascular disease. Erectile dysfunction is often a symptom of a bigger health issue rather than the health issue itself, and should be taken seriously. 

However, erectile dysfunction is not always a cue to prepare for the worst. Erectile dysfunction can be initiated by psychological stressors. Your brain is one of your most valuable tools for achieving arousal. But if your brain is already preoccupied and dealing with mental health concerns like depression or anxiety, it can be difficult to experience and express physical desire. It’s possible that depression or anxiety might be causing erectile dysfunction, which erectile dysfunction then contributes to by causing even more stress. And erectile dysfunction can be frustrating, but it is treatable once the root cause is identified. 

If you’ve begun to experience chronic erectile dysfunction, it might be time to consult your primary health care provider or seek advice from a urologist or nephrologist, doctors which specialize in conditions affecting the kidneys or urinary tracts. The Urology Care Foundation extols that finding the cause of your erectile dysfunction is a vital first step in treating it or improving your overall health. 

To diagnose your erectile dysfunction, the physician will ask you questions as well as perform physical tests. This will likely include an examination of your genitals as well as a prostate exam. The exam could possibly involve bloodwork, if only to rule in-or-out any serious diseases. 

Your doctor will provide a healthcare plan for you. Combating erectile dysfunction could include changing your diet and exercise routine, stopping smoking, testosterone therapy, or seeing a therapist. If you’re not experiencing erectile dysfunction and want to prevent it, the same treatments mentioned above still apply. Taking care of your mental and physical health will help take care of the problem.

However erectile dysfunction is affecting you and however you choose to seek treatment, it’s important to be open with your partner about whatever you’re experiencing. If you are in a relationship, erectile dysfunction affects not only you, but can affect intimacy with your partner. It can drive a wedge in your relationship if it’s not talked about. Open communication can be key in not only working around erectile dysfunction, but in mitigating its effects. 

Sidebar: Erectile dysfunction does not make anyone less worthy or less loveable. If your partner is making you feel like you are the problem, and not the erectile dysfunction, they are not being properly supportive. If someone’s treatment of you is bothering you, address it. Cutting the negativity out of your life can help resolve your erectile dysfunction, so cut that negativity out. 

When talking to your partner about erectile dysfunction, it's best to have this discussion at a neutral time and not during or directly after intimacy. Going over road bumps and how to smooth them out are discussions to have before heading to the bedroom. 

Your doctor can prescribe medication to help maintain an erection. These are often the first line of attack. Trying something like a penis pump could also be a great option. A penis pump goes over the penis and works by pulling blood into the penis. This one from NS Novelties features a robust yet quiet motor to comfortably stimulate your anatomy. 

Penis pumps work by stimulating extra blood flow into the penis, and penis rings work by keeping that blood in the penis shaft. Healthline reports that “most users find the ring helps an erection last long enough for intercourse. As ED rings prevent blood from flowing back while the penis is erect, they work best when a man can achieve a partial or full erection but has difficulty maintaining it.” 

Some penis rings also include attachments for vibrators to give your partner an extra boost of stimulation. The Pulse Vibrating Erection Ring is made with a comfortable yet firm material that will stay in place comfortably the whole time you have it on. If you’re looking for a more robust vibrating option that can withstand being used in water, try the Adam and Eve Rechargeable Couples Penis Ring

However you deal with your erectile dysfunction, always remember that what you are experiencing is perfectly normal and everything you feel is totally valid. Erectile dysfunction is nothing to be embarrassed about. There are plenty of options available to treat your erectile dysfunction, and you’re not alone in your experience. Odds are, you know someone who either is going through the same thing, has gone through it before, or will experience erectile dysfunction at some point. It’s common, and it's time we started talking about it like a regular medical issue that anyone might experience. 

You are not alone and you are not a problem.



15 Jul

Penetration can be a great tool for enhancing pleasure for yourself or with a partner. But depending on what you’re going for and your own physicality, you might be limited on the kind of action you can achieve on your own. Those who have a penis might also be interested in experimenting with something that has a different look and feel. 

The solution for this? Try involving a dong the next time you play with a partner or by yourself. 

What Are Dongs? 

Defined by Kinkly as both “slang for penis” and “a long, phallic shaped sex toy,” a dong is most commonly known as a sex toy used for penetration. According to Planned Parenthood, a dildo (basically the same thing as a dong) is an object “that goes inside a vagina, anus, or mouth. Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, but they’re often shaped like a penis.”

Basically a dong is a phallic toy meant for penetrative play. There are plenty on the market meant to look and feel like a real penis, but that isn’t your only option. All fairly long and cylindrical in shape, you can take your pick of the most hyper-realistic dildos to ones with fun colors, textures, and styles. Some even have more inventive and abstract designs, meant to look more like a tongue or tentacle than a penis. 

You can pick any size or girth that best suits you. Dongs also come in plenty of materials like silicone or plastic to metal and glass. Ranging from smooth and straight to curvy and ribbed, there’s a texture and style out there for everyone. 

Who Are They For?

People of any gender can use and enjoy dongs. Simply put, they’re for anyone who enjoys penetration. Dongs are most popular among fans of pegging and for relationships with two female partners. However, any kind of relationship with any kind of person can likely find a dong they enjoy using. Whether you choose to be the active or passive partner, or play by yourself, is totally up to you. There are no rules on who they’re for, only rules on how to use them so that you can get the most out of your product. 

How To Use Dongs?

Dongs are suitable for anal, oral, or vaginal use and can be utilized in all sorts of play. They can be used for anything from solo or mutual masturbating to penetrating your partner. Use one to practice your oral technique, or choose one with a harness for playing with a partner. It’s totally up to you how you’d like to use your dong and what you’re using it for.

When selecting a style of dong, keep in mind what kind of activities you plan on engaging in and your partner’s or your own comfort level. Some dongs might have different physical requirements compared to others. Always select something that is fun for all parties involved and accessible for both you and your partner. 

Dongs come in plenty of different lengths and girths. Options range from smaller and slimmer models to longer and thicker styles. If you’re newer to dongs, we recommend starting with the most manageable size for you and working your way up to the bigger sizes. 

And as always, we recommend lube, and lots of it. Women's Health reports that “nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm.” And if you’re looking for a quality lube to go with your dong, you can’t go wrong with any lubes from System JO.

Product Recommendations: 

For those looking for something more colorful, the Colours line by NS Novelties offers a plethora of dongs in different sizes, styles, and fun colors. From electric pinks to red, white and blue, you can choose a sex toy that is not only fun to use—but fun to look at. The Colours line is accomodating to those who want a bigger size, and also those who are looking for more phallic styles.

And for the avant-garde fans, the California Dreaming Laguna Beach Lover comes in a bright red color which accentuates its unique, tongue-like shape. Another great option for those who enjoy a less traditional style is the Iroha Minamo. Designed with a curvy, wave-shaped design, it’s pliable material will contour perfectly to your body. 

If you’re interested in more intense partner play, Strap U offers a range of excellent strap-on dongs and products for dual-use. The Power Peggeris a double-ended vibrating strap-on sure to give you and your partner a buzz. The sturdy straps will ensure the perfect fit, and the wired controller makes for easy speed-setting adjustment. The Tri-Volver is a strapless strap-on complete with two ends, the smaller of which comes with two swells meant to keep it in place and a stem designed specifically for clitoral stimulation.

Those who want a double-ended dong with a little more flexibility, a double-ended dildo might be just the thing. Something like the Commander Dongs Veined Double Dong is fashioned from realistic skin-like material and is suitable for use with or without a harness. It’s fully bendable, allowing for as many creative positions as you can come up with. Classix Double Whammy is another great option for those looking for something less photo-realistic but equally fun. 

No matter how you choose to play, there’s something out there for everyone. Dongs are compatible for beginner usage as well as those with plenty of experience. When buying one, be conscious of what feels best to you. 

As always, when you’re done remember to clean your dong and store it in a safe place for next time. We’re sure once you find the one, you’ll want to keep it around. 

13 Jul

Self-maintenance can feel overwhelming. Routines for body care and sexual health seem to have an infinite number of combinations and options. In a sea of advice, it can be hard to choose what to incorporate into your daily life. 

We’ve compiled some easy-to-follow advice on how you can enhance your self-care routine—or begin building yours if you don’t already have one. 

Manscaping 101:

Body hair—how much of it and where you let it grow—is a personal choice. There’s no wrong answer to how much hair you want to keep, but there is a proper way to remove body hair you don’t want and care for the hair you want to keep. 

The easiest method in most cases is shaving. You likely already own a razor. If not, there are a variety of quality options available at all price points. 

If you’re looking to manicure your facial hair specifically, a dermaplaning razor could give you better results than your standard razor. The small precision blade makes it easy to reach small areas and perfect fine details, such as trimming down your brows. 

Typically, for coarser and more plentiful body hair, a 5-blade cartridge is the best choice. If you use a razor to shave your body, it’s best to keep the blade you use for your face and the blade you use for your body separate. 

When shaving your body, shave with the grain and always use a shaving cream or gel with little-to-no alcohol. It shouldn’t dry out your skin, just provide a barrier for your skin so you don’t get razor burn. One of our absolute favorites is Coochy Shave Cream by Classic Brands. It comes in a variety of scents and works on all body hair no matter your gender. Their signature shave cream stops red bumps from appearing anywhere you shave and leaves skin oh so smooth, delicately fragranced and irresistible to touch. 

When shaving down-there, proceed with caution. You can’t rush perfection. Go slow to avoid knocking your sensitive pubic skin.

Shaving will take all your hair off. If you want just a trim, invest in a good pair of scissors meant for facial hair (these can be used anywhere) or an electric trimmer. Like with anything sharp, be careful not to cut yourself in the process. 

If cutting yourself is a concern, or you want a more permanent body hair removal, waxing or a hair removal cream offer a solution. 

For waxing your legs, chest, or back, there are plenty of excellent at-home kits. Veet’s Ready To Use Wax Strips are fuss-free prepackaged wax strips readily available at most local Targets and Walgreens. Nads Natural Sugar Wax is another great diy option. You can achieve salon results at home by spreading the no-heat formula on the desired area with one of the kit’s spatulas, and remove with a provided reusable cotton strip. 

If you want to try waxing your genitals, it’s best to seek a professional at your local wax studio. Prepare for any waxing beforehand by exfoliating and drying your skin—and taking some over-the-counter pain medicine beforehand can help the process. 

Hair removal can be done at home easily. Always follow the instructions exactly to avoid painful chemical burns. If you plan to use any hair removal cream in your public area, double check that it is pubic-area specific. Apply gently around your pubic area, avoiding direct contact with your genitals, and wash your hands carefully afterward. 

To care for your remaining body hair, exfoliate regularly and moisturize your skin. This will help your body hair grow the best it can. (Psst: it is perfectly healthy to keep any and all body hair. If you want to grow it out, we found some great tips from VOGUE on how to embrace the full bush.)

Cleansing and Skincare: 

In general, it’s best practice to take a shower every day and cleanse your entire body with soap and water. However, not all soap is created equal. Switching up some steps in your cleansing routine might help improve your overall hygiene and appearance. 

If you struggle with body acne, the solution can be as simple as switching a body wash. To combat body acne, particularly any that occurs on the back, chest, or backside, a body wash containing benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid should help. Acne, especially body acne, is a result of inflammation rather than lack of cleanliness. Therefore, chemicals like salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide that aid cell turnover will soothe your skin and alleviate breakouts. 

It’s important to remember that exfoliating chemicals make the skin more photosensitive, so it’s important to pair them with an effective sunscreen. SPF should be an important step in your daily routine regardless. In addition to preventing premature aging and protecting your skin from damage, consistent use of sunscreen will help preserve your skincare results and mitigate future breakouts. Find one you like for your face and body and get into the habit of applying it each morning—and then reapplying it as your preferred sunscreen recommends. 

It’s important to regularly clean your pubic area. In addition to skin of your nether regions being more sensitive than the skin on the rest of your body, it’s also a dark and sweat-prone area of the body, making it an ideal breeding ground for bacteria. Using a gentle soap without any additional scents added is the best choice for this part of the body. It’s safe for the rest of the body as well. 

You don’t have to bathe immediately after having sex, but it would be a good idea to bathe within the next few hours. In a pinch, wiping down with some intimate care wipes like Promescent Before and After Care Wipes, Sweet Spot’s A Clean S-wipe, or Good Clean Love’s Rebalance Cleansing Wipes can be a great substitution until you’re able to hop in a shower. Even if you don’t have access to a shower or cleansing wipes, it is ALWAYS a good idea to pee after sex to reduce the risk of bacteria traveling to your bladder and causing a UTI


If you still have a foreskin, be sure to pull it back and effectively clean the surrounding area. This helps prevent smegma as well as potential yeast infections (yes, people with penises can also get yeast infections). Take an extra minute to examine your body whenever you bathe to make sure there isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Healthline recommends checking your groin area for blisters, rashes, or unusual discharge, as these could be a sign of an STI or another underlying health problem, all of which are best to catch sooner rather than later. 

If you do find anything that looks out of place, contact your healthcare provider. 

Outside of actually showering, you can continue caring for your skin by regularly applying moisturizer to your face and body. The skin is the largest organ of the body. Whether you have oily or dry skin, regularly moisturizing it will help preserve it’s natural barrier and overall health. 

Sex Toy Care:

Caring for what touches your skin is just as important as caring for your skin as well. If you use any kind of sex toy, it’s essential to clean every product before and after use. However, according to a poll of over 1,000 people conducted by Adam and Eve, “19% of the women and 36% of the men said they never cleaned their sex toys. And 11% of the women and 7% of the men admitted they clean their toys every few uses.” Clean those toys, people!!

If you use a masturbator or stroker, your bodily fluids are caught inside. If not cleaned, your biological matter will eventually fester and make the product unsafe and unusable. 

Most products will include a cleaning guide. Follow the directions closely to ensure the longevity of your product and keep it as healthy and safe as possible for your personal use. Generally, warm water and soap will do the trick. For soap, always opt for something that is compatible with the material your product is made of so it won’t cause premature damage. Lion’s Den Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner or System JO’s Misting Toy Cleanser are both effective spray cleansers without any chemical smell. Simply mist your product, let sit for 60 seconds, and rinse clean. Air drying is also generally best practice. 

Whatever way you decide to care for your body, it shouldn’t feel like a chore. A few simple extra steps can dramatically improve your overall health and boost your confidence. 

Try to develop habits that will make you healthier in the long run. And when buying self-care products, the best advice is to always choose things that you will actually use. If something feels like a burden, you will be less inclined to incorporate it into your routine. Choose the things that you are naturally drawn to and feel at home in the rest of your regimen.


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