Yes, You Should Start Scheduling Sex
Prioritize pleasure in 2022 and beyond.
Penciling “sex” onto your calendar might not sound like the sexiest thing in the world, but making it a standing appointment might actually boost your satisfaction with your partner and in the bedroom.
And while variety is the spice of life, life has an annoying habit of derailing plans both spicy and mundane. If you’re a busy person and have several responsibilities to juggle throughout the week, it’s important to make time for yourself and for the people you care about.
Antici. . . . pation
When it’s on your schedule, it’s a commitment. Schedules don’t always allow for spontaneity, so in a long-term relationship, sex can sometimes fall by the wayside. When it’s hypothetically always on the table, it can start to feel stale. But if it becomes a weekly special instead of a neglected item on the permanent menu, that helps give a little sparkle back to your sex lives.
But if you’re not in a committed relationship, you can still benefit from scheduling sex. When it’s on your schedule, like a pilates class or that meeting with your boss, it becomes a regular part of life. You don’t have to find the time for sex because the time is already there.
It’s all about building anticipation. You have something to look forward to, something you’ve got to wait for. There’s something to be said for delayed gratification.
As an added bonus of planning sex, it’s a helpful way for managing fertility.
If you and your partner are trying to conceive, planning sex can increase your chances. You can monitor your body for ovulation, the 12-24 hour window when you’re most likely to conceive. Ovulation isn’t too difficult to track. It occurs roughly two weeks before your next menstrual cycle. If you can successfully track your period, you can hone in on when you’re ovulating and make sure you get some action during this peak time frame.
And if you’re trying to avoid pregnancy this information is still super useful. If you know when you’re ovulating, you know when you should postpone your activities.
If you struggle with a sexual dysfunction, having a heads-up can make all the difference. When you know you’re going to have sex, you can take any medication or do any other necessary prep work needed to have a good time.
It’s also a boost to your mental health. Sexual satisfaction is good for the soul. In fact, regular sex/masturbation can help reduce depression and anxiety. Planned Parenthood explains that “sex and mental health share the same bed.” As humans are sexual as well as social creatures, the opportunity to connect with each other and ourselves sexually is very important for feelings of happiness and belonging.
How to Plan
So you’ve decided you want to plan sex, but how do you do it?
Talk to your partner about what you want and see if they’re on board. Pitch it as something along the lines of wanting to have a regular appointment. You want to give them their own recurring spot on your schedule: just the two of you, no distractions.
Should they agree, try planning it like you’d plan any other meeting. You can put it on your calendar, write yourself a note, whatever it is you do when you’ve got something coming up. You can also spice things up further by adding an itinerary to your meeting. This works especially well if there’s something you’ve both wanted to try but haven’t gotten around to. Now you have a coordinated block of time set aside where you can figure out all the ins and outs of whatever it is you want to try.
If you’re just managing your own schedule, you’ve got a little more freedom.
Of course, if you have roommates or family, finding time for yourself can also be a bit of a challenge. Consider taking on “you time” for when you’ll already be alone and need privacy, like before or after a shower or when you’re getting ready for bed.
But no matter your situation, pick a time and stick to it. Honoring this item on your schedule the way you would honor any other commitment. Some flexibility in your scheduling is always welcome but consistency is key.
Don’t fear the pressure; enjoy the anticipation.