Mark your calendars! July 31 is National Orgasm Day. In this post, we’re going to break down what an orgasm is, the different types, and how you can guarantee yourself or your partner will achieve a happy ending at the end of the night.
What is an Orgasm?
Orgasms go by many names, but an orgasm by any other name would feel just as sweet. Also called cumming or climax among others, they all mean the same thing. Explained by Planned Parenthood, “an orgasm is what usually happens when you reach the height of sexual arousal ... sexual tension increases until it reaches a peak, and pressure in your body and genitals is released.”
The orgasm is the most intense feeling of sexual satisfaction when you’re experiencing any form of sexual stimulation. It’s like the 5-star dessert at the end of what was hopefully an equally enjoyable meal.
Not all orgasms are created equal. Each orgasm you experience will be different, like a sexual snowflake. Also, there are different parts of the body that when stimulated will give you an orgasm, which in turn will have their own distinct sensation profile. But different parts of the body will also have some different requirements.
The clitoris is the small bud seated at the top of the labia. With over 8,000 nerve endings, it’s only anatomical function is sexual pleasure. And for people with vulvas, the clitoris can be essential in having an orgasm. It’s the body’s most powerful erogenous zone, a part of the body vital in building orgasmic pleasure.
Try stimulating your own or your partner’s clit with your fingers, tongue, or both. Oral sex can be a great technique for ensuring that your partner reaches their climax. A clitoral vibrator could also be a fantastic inclusion in your routine. The Satisfyer Pro 2 is a clitoral vibrator that uses airpulse technology to stimulate your clit. And this new model of the cult favorite Satisfyer brand features an exciting upgrade—it also vibrates. Enjoy it by yourself, or include it the next time you're playing with a partner for that extra sensation you might’ve been missing.
The g-spot is another erogenous zone, but more elusive than the clitoris. Planned Parenthood reports that the g-spot is located “a few inches within the vagina’s upper wall.” It can be hard to find, but once you do you’ll be amazed at what a game-changer it can be when it comes to achieving an orgasm through penetrative sex.
If you’re looking for a little help finding the g-spot or giving it the attention it deserves, try the Myth by Vush. It’s ribbed head and curved body makes it the perfect toy for exploring down below.
Think of the prostate as the g-spot for anyone who has a penis. The prostate is a small muscular gland that produces ejaculate. It’s located at the root of the penis and can only be accessed by the anus. The best way to access it is liberally lubed fingers or a prostate stimulator. We like these P-Swing Prostate Stimulator. It’s curves and grooves are perfect for stimulating the prostate and the anus, and it vibrates for an extra kick.
Anal orgasms could come from both internal and external stimulation. For some, all they will need is a little attention applied to the external anus, like a rim job or teasing with fingers. Others will want something a bit more robust, which could be anything from digital stimulation to pegging. However you do it, don’t forget the lube. The anus is a strong muscle, but you also don’t want to risk damaging such an important part of the body.
Penetrative anal play can lead to orgasm if either the prostate or anterior fornix is stimulated. It all depends on your body and what you like. The Strap-U Trivolver might be a fantastic addition to your collection, as it will provide clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, anal stimulation, and potentially prostate stimulation.
If you want to find the right toy for you and your body, learn more here.
For vaginal sex (well, for any sex), lube will be your best friend. Women's Health reports that, “nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm.” Not only will lube make anything you’re doing easier, the different formulas can provide different sensations like cooling, warming, or tingling. We’ve been loving the Tango Couples Pleasure Set by System Jo, which comes with two different silky-smooth lubes, one warming and one cooling.
Vaginal orgasms come from penetration of the vagina. You can achieve this with a partner, or at home with your fingers or by using something like a dildo. If you’re playing with a friend, make sure they’re lubed up beforehand. If you’re playing solo, you’ve got a myriad of options for choosing a toy for you. We suggest opting from something that will not only stimulate the vagina, but also the clitoris. Something like the Rabbit Lux will stimulate the clitoris, g-spot, and vagina at the same time for a powerful and exciting orgasm.
Same rules apply: use lube! Lube will help your glide easier and will make everything more comfortable for you and any potential partners. The penis gains pleasure from pressure. Squeezing—not too hard—along the shaft is certain to elicit some pleasurable feelings.
If you’re in the market for a new toy, the Main Squeeze line Doc Johnson offers plenty of different mastorbators made out of their patented lifelike material. With varying degrees of tightness, you’re sure to find the exact thing that will bring you to climax.
You can mix and match the types of orgasms and the sensations you chose to experience. Stimulating one area of the body can help to enhance the pleasure you’re experiencing from stimulating another area.
How to Have an Orgasm:
Many view the Big O as the goal post, a finish line for their sexual encounter. But that’s a huge oversimplification that could lead to you actually enjoying your orgasm—and sex in general—less. Adding that extra layer of stress by making it something you have to work for could be what’s preventing you from getting to the top of your proverbial mountain.
Instead of viewing the orgasm as the endgame, try thinking of it as the piece de resistance, the cherry on top of whatever you’re up to.
Also, if you’re having sex with a partner, it’s important to keep their needs in mind. We’ve all heard the phrase “It’s about the journey, not the destination,” but we can all agree that it wouldn’t be fair if only one partner got to make it to the resort and the other had to stay in the car. Communicate with your partner. Sexual pleasure is very much a collaborative effort, so try working in tandem with your partner so you can both achieve your happy ending.
Communicate with yourself as well. You can’t share your needs with your partner if you don’t know them yourself. Take some time to learn your own body, your own limits, what feels good, better, best—then share what you’ve learned with your partner. All knowledge is power, and this information could be the difference between something being meh and something being write-about-it-in-your-diary kind of great.
Like we said earlier, sex is marathon and not a sprint. It’s hard to go from zero to sixty, and also less fun. When you build up to it over time, it gives you time to get into the right headspace and to prime your body for more intense stimulation down the road.
Indulge in some fantasy roleplaying that gets you both in the mood—and this can be literally anything you want—or try getting physical. Kissing and caressing are all good ways to get warmed up.
When you’re ready to move onto something more vigorous, try beginning with some digital stimulation like a handjob or fingering.
In the same way foreplay builds the intensity of sex, edging will kick the intesnsity of your orgasm up several notches. By repeatedly bringing yourself or your partner to the cusp of orgasm several times before you cross the finish line, all of the sensation compounds into an intense, deeply satisfying orgasm.
Check out our blog post dedicated to edging for more details on this technique. (We think you’ll love it!)
You’re probably thinking “why would I do this when I’m trying to have an orgasm,” but hear us out. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and taking a brief hiatus from orgasms might be just the thing that makes having your next one easier and more fulfilling.
Also, if you’re thinking of your orgasm as the goal, you might be making it harder on yourself to enjoy sex or masturbating in general. By mentally taking an orgasm off the table, that might help you to relax and enjoy yourself more than you have been, which might be just the thing you needed to finally climax.
However you decide to play, the most important thing is to make sure you’re having fun. Nothing about orgasms should be painful or make you feel anxiety, so if you’re not enjoying yourself you are free to stop at any time. It’s all about practice, and this might be some of the most fun trial and error you have.